DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m blind and have been since delivery. In contrast to some individuals I do know, I don’t get offended if individuals ask me questions or say one thing about it. I’m comfy with the best way I’m, and even make jokes about it myself typically.
However typically, when individuals I don’t know properly say one thing like “Good to see you,” the dialog turns into awkward as a result of they assume I should be offended by that.
For one factor, it’s only a determine of speech, and for an additional, I say that to individuals jokingly on a regular basis.
What do I say to individuals in these awkward moments after they begin apologizing, though I don’t really feel that it’s mandatory?
GENTLE READER: “I see what you’re getting at. But I don’t really see it as being offensive.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I take pleasure in socializing with a bunch of ladies in my neighborhood. There’s a group textual content for 14 of us who usually get collectively for social occasions.
Just lately, a couple of of the women mentioned how a lot enjoyable that they had had boating, and it was apparent half the group hadn’t been invited. This isn’t the primary time this has occurred.
I feel they need to maintain such texts personal. It’s their selection to not embody me, however I imagine it’s impolite to brag.
GENTLE READER: Impolite to brag? Isn’t it the nationwide sport?
Social media has sabotaged the tactful rule in opposition to mentioning social occasions to individuals who weren’t invited.
Miss Manners would warning in opposition to posting about events on-line, except to a bunch restricted to the company, if she thought she had even the least probability of success. However she is aware of that individuals are not listening. They’ll’t wait to point out off to the world what a wonderful occasion they hosted (or attended).
So allow us to work on it from the opposite finish, beginning with the acknowledgment that everybody can’t be invited to all the pieces. There are solely so many individuals you will get onto a ship.
To be offended, you actually ought to have been systemically excluded on events the place everybody else in your circle had been invited.
Even then, chances are you’ll reduce ties with these mates, or chances are you’ll probe to see in case you have one way or the other brought about offense. However you shouldn’t problem the hosts’ prerogative of selecting their company.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband not too long ago handed, and I despatched thank-you notes to everybody who gave a financial reward or despatched flowers.
Are thank-you notes required to those that attended the wake providers? I heard {that a} buddy of a buddy was offended at not receiving a thank-you.
GENTLE READER: Actually? Somebody thought that attending your husband’s wake was a favor to you?
Miss Manners doesn’t need to discourage letters of thanks, that are briefly provide. If hosts need to write to thank their company, she will not be going to discourage them. However in contrast to the peculiar obligation of company to thank their hosts, it’s not mandatory.
Any such expectation is especially ugly in reference to funerary providers, the place the aim is to point out respect for the deceased and supply consolation to the bereaved.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
