DEAR ABBY: My pal “Cindra” and I’ve youngsters about the identical age and really completely different views and philosophies on elevating them.
Her daughter and son are homeschooled and never in a position to do many issues on their very own. Additionally, since they have been infants, she has allowed them to co-sleep together with her and her husband. Cindra’s daughter is now 11, and her son is 9.
The woman has began puberty, and it appears inappropriate for the youngsters to nonetheless be co-sleeping with their mother and father at this age.
I take care of her youngsters, and I’m involved about their well-being. Ought to I confront Cindra about this? Or would I cross the road by doing so?
— ANOTHER MOTHER IN TEXAS
DEAR MOTHER: Dad and mom have the suitable to boost their youngsters as they see match, so long as there isn’t any abuse.
Now that the daughter is on the level the place she’s turning into a younger girl, she could WANT to have some privateness. I don’t see something to be gained by mentioning this topic to Cindra.
DEAR ABBY: I’m an grownup youngster of an alcoholic. My mom is a imply drunk.
Whereas rising up, I needed to act as her therapist and take care of her co-dependency. I’ve been fortunate to have processed a number of the trauma in remedy and to have a loving and wholesome household of my very own now.
We actively keep away from Mother after 3 p.m. as a result of I don’t need my youngsters subjected to her cruelty. I don’t suppose it’s wholesome for them to be round abusive, inebriated individuals.
I’m pregnant. My mother has at all times needed to be within the supply room for a delivery. Nonetheless, I’d somewhat she not be within the supply room with us. I don’t need to be round her when she’s drunk due to her tendency to make all the pieces about herself, trigger drama and upset me. I’d somewhat not must take care of her narcissism whereas giving delivery.
We had our first youngster through the COVID pandemic, so we had an excuse to not have her there. The delivery was extraordinarily traumatic, and we’re fortunate that our youngster made it.
My godmother desires to be within the supply room, since she may by no means have her personal youngsters. I’d love for her to be there. We’re very shut and get alongside nice.
How do I broach the difficulty of wanting my godmother there however not my alcoholic mom?
— DELIVERING THE NEWS
DEAR DELIVERING: Right here’s how: Cease pussyfooting across the topic and be utterly trustworthy along with your mom. This delivery expertise is for you, not for her.
The affected person must be calm and relaxed and never be uncovered to any poisonous power as a result of a rise within the blood strain of the mom can negatively have an effect on the newborn.
In case your godmother offers the emotional help you want, it’s best to have her with you, and make no apologies for it.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
