DEAR MISS MANNERS: A good friend whom I very a lot treasured has ceased to be my good friend.
After 12 years of journey adventures, Saturday afternoons at markets, deep conversations over espresso, visiting one another a number of occasions a yr (after she moved 1,000 miles away) and serving to one another with tasks, she began distancing herself from me.
I requested her what was taking place, and she or he would solely say there was nothing unsuitable and that nothing had modified. She acted like I used to be imagining issues.
I acquired a card within the mail from her a number of months in the past the place she talked about, virtually as an apart, that she had moved again right here. I known as her instantly and requested how I may have missed that she was transferring again. She laughed and stated she’d been right here for six weeks already.
I felt crushed, although I didn’t specific that. The good friend I had identified would have known as me the day the choice was made. Really, she would have known as me earlier than that, to speak over the professionals and cons. We’d have seen one another at the least a dozen occasions in these six weeks.
As an alternative, we’ve got solely seen one another as soon as within the 4 months she’s been again — for half-hour, to look at a parade. I’ve reached out since then to ask her to espresso or lunch, and people messages have been returned with silence.
I actually don’t know what occurred. Ought to I merely acquiesce to this radio silence?
GENTLE READER: Sure, until you wish to have another go at going through the issue instantly: “Clearly we have grown distant, and I am at a loss as to why. You say that nothing is wrong, but you cannot deny that our friendship is not what it was. If I have done something wrong, please let me know so that I have a chance to correct it and make amends.”
In case your erstwhile good friend continues to demur, Miss Manners is afraid that you’ll have to settle for the loss and transfer on. After which resolve whether or not or not you wish to keep away from her on the grocery retailer.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Years in the past, my father-in-law gave me a necklace, completely unexpectedly.
It was considered one of many items of knickknack he had given to his spouse, who had died years prior. He additionally gave some items to different family members.
The necklace isn’t one thing I take pleasure in carrying; it will get all snarled and I’ve to get it mounted every time I put on it. In the meantime, my sister-in-law isn’t proud of the diamond earrings she acquired, which she mentions often.
Ought to I simply give the necklace to her? The final time I had it assessed, they stated it was price about 39,000.
GENTLE READER: About 39,000 what?! Miss Manners hopes you imply rupees or pesos, or that you simply added too many zeros.
If the financial worth is actually inconsequential to you, by all means, give it to your sister-in-law. She could be eternally in your debt.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
