DEAR MISS MANNERS: A younger couple moved in subsequent door. Once they get mail addressed to the previous occupant, they don’t contact her, although she lives in the identical small city (and runs a retailer right here).
One current package deal contained some advertising and marketing supplies she had ordered from me, which I mistakenly despatched to her outdated tackle. Once we discovered the issue, I texted my new neighbor, and he then left the package deal on my porch. However he had had it for 3 weeks with out doing something about it.
When these neighbors are on their deck and my husband goes into his vegetable backyard close by, they instantly go inside.
What’s incorrect with these folks?
GENTLE READER: Possibly they’re on their honeymoon. Possibly they’re on the lam. Who is aware of? However they don’t have to socialize with you.
In any case, they don’t need to be good neighbors, which is their privilege — up to a degree. Retaining another person’s mail was past that time. Miss Manners hopes that the submit workplace will likely be extra responsive when your former neighbor requests her mail forwarded.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Over the past two years, I’ve been making incremental modifications to guide a extra eco-friendly life-style. Is it impolite to present eco-friendly or reusable merchandise to household and mates?
For instance, my sister began a brand new job and I wish to give her a set of reusable utensils to eat her lunch with, relatively than counting on her employer’s disposable plastic utensils. Is that OK? And for acquaintances, would goodie luggage of, say, bamboo toothbrushes with powdered tooth cleaning soap be thought-about “too personal”?
I need to give items that align with my values with out intruding on anybody’s freedom to decide on no matter merchandise go well with their life. How do I toe that line?
GENTLE READER: That is a superb distinction to contemplate. Miss Manners has one other: Are you contemplating presents that you just consider the recipients will admire and revel in, or is your motive to prod them into making modifications they haven’t any explicit want to make?
Presumably, these near you already know about your curiosity in attaining a extra eco-friendly life-style. You appear tactful sufficient to have shared your beliefs with out resorting to the favored — and usually ineffective — strategy of shaming others. You should have been alert to any curiosity, prepared to supply encouragement and recommendation.
However to present presents supposed to fulfill you, with out regard to pleasing them, violates the spirit of giving. Absolutely yow will discover objects that respect your goals however don’t bludgeon others into utilizing — or losing — them.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How widespread is it to deal with married ladies as “Mrs. John Doe” within the U.S., in 2024?
GENTLE READER: Not very. However Miss Manners reminds you that wives and widows preferring to retain that long-traditional fashion shouldn’t be jarred into altering for the sake of consistency.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
