DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I spent a number of days with some associates at a home in a rural setting close to a small lake.
Throughout our keep, the electrical energy went out. The bogs didn’t work for over 24 hours, and we had to make use of buckets for the waste we generated.
After the bogs had been working, our host disposed of our collected waste within the lake. Doing so was in opposition to the regulation within the state we had been in. It was additionally an ecological crime as a result of even an infinitesimal quantity of feces will pollute a lake.
We mentioned nothing on the time.
When a number commits each against the law and causes an ecological catastrophe, what’s a visitor purported to do? Ought to we have now stopped our host? Ought to we have now mentioned one thing?
GENTLE READER: It isn’t an unreasonable expectation that the proprietor of a home be conversant in the legal guidelines and idiosyncrasies of its state. Deferring to your hosts and their experience is certainly logical and well mannered.
But when you realize {that a} crime is being dedicated, talking up is crucial. As a result of even Miss Manners will admit that etiquette will not be above the regulation. In case your pal will get caught and you’re named as an adjunct, “I was just being polite” will in all probability not serve to exonerate you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What’s the correct etiquette for disembarking a aircraft when the aisles are full and somebody’s bag is a number of rows behind them?
I used to be getting off a flight when a pair within the row in entrance of me tried to get different passengers to retrieve the couple’s giant luggage from the overhead compartments, 4 rows again, and go them as much as them. When that didn’t occur, the person pushed again by way of these of us standing within the aisle.
Once I steered he wait a minute or two and we’d be cleared out of his method, he very loudly instructed me that I didn’t know disembarking etiquette and that everybody behind him ought to have waited for him to get his bag.
It will be useful to have your enter for our collective journey within the crowded skies.
GENTLE READER: Public chastisement within the title of etiquette is Miss Manners’ least favourite type of free promoting.
This particular person’s technique was not even logical, as a result of different passengers might hardly be anticipated to know the place his bag was and at what level to cease passing it.
Had he been extra courteous, others might need taken pity on him and requested if they may assist. Because it was, he made a difficult state of affairs worse — and turned his fellow vacationers from potential allies to adversaries.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I refused to attend the marriage of one of many academics at my spouse’s dance studio as a result of the invitation included their checking account data, asking for “cash gifts only.”
The marriage was at a distant location, with the closest lodge 45 minutes away, in the course of the forest with no illumination down some unpaved roads.
My spouse attended and gave a money reward.
Was I flawed?
GENTLE READER: Sure. However solely since you deserted your spouse in the course of a forest.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
