DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be eating solo, and a household with two young children was seated in my part. One toddler determined to deal with the restaurant to extended, high-pitched shrieks.
I didn’t wish to trigger a scene, however the shrieking was undoubtedly ruining my expertise. What’s a single diner to do?
GENTLE READER: Ship over a cookie? Properly, two, in order that the opposite little one doesn’t begin to shriek. (Discover that Miss Manners assumes that you’d fairly remedy the issue than punish the mother and father.)
In fact, you may merely ask to be reseated in a quieter space, if such is obtainable. However certainly the cookie answer is extra satisfying — at the very least to you and the shrieker, if the mother and father don’t object.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Do I’ve to host my in-laws for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner?
All of us rotate who hosts, and it’s in all probability my household’s flip. However my in-laws are horrible friends.
They present up late. They don’t take their footwear off. They provide to deliver a facet dish, however both don’t observe by means of or deliver one thing completely completely different. They let their children run wild — leaping off the furnishings, pulling out each toy, taking part in roughly and making messes.
After the household meal, they don’t provide to wash up and even clear the desk. They simply go away piles of soiled dishes all over the place whereas they sit and converse for hours.
I really feel unhealthy shirking my obligation, but it surely’s not enjoyable to be so confused and resentful for the vacations.
GENTLE READER: Certainly, these are all good causes to not wish to entertain these troublesome individuals. However Miss Manners can consider two good causes to take action anyway:
1. They’re your in-laws. 2. It’s your flip.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve members of the family who reply to any of my misfortunes by explaining how they had been good sufficient to keep away from the identical state of affairs.
For example, my wedding ceremony ring usually wants repairs, because the stones ceaselessly fall out. My sister-in-law at all times jogs my memory that her ring doesn’t do that as a result of she selected a hardier model.
This occurs in different circumstances, too.
GENTLE READER: The phrase you need is “How nice for you,” with the emphasis on the “for.” Repeat as needed.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How ought to I deal with ChatGPT?
I take care of this creation on daily basis. It responds to my questions and requests in a pleasant, chatty method. Its responses appear nearly human.
Am I required to say “hello” to it earlier than I start? Should I say “please” when asking my questions? Should I thank it afterwards? Or is it acceptable to deal with it as a senseless automaton — which it’s?
GENTLE READER: Sure, it’s senseless. So are dolls and stuffed animals, however we encourage kids to deal with them kindly.
Why? To kind habits of politeness.
The unlucky requirement of claiming “Hey!” to get the eye of a sure nonhuman helper has led to the widespread rudeness of summoning human beings the identical manner. How a lot better it’s to distribute a number of not-strictly-necessary pleases and thank-yous than to run the danger of growing coarse habits.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
