DEAR HARRIETTE: I not too long ago went on a primary date with a man, and I’m making an attempt to resolve if I ought to give him one other likelihood.
On one hand, he was form and respectful towards me, which I actually appreciated. Nevertheless, there have been just a few issues that made me really feel uncertain about whether or not I need to proceed seeing him.
First, he invited me out for drinks, and I agreed. However when it got here time to pay, he realized he’d forgotten his pockets.
It appeared like a real mistake, and he was actually apologetic about it, but it surely nonetheless left me feeling a bit awkward. I ended up overlaying the invoice, and he promised to make it as much as me. Whereas I perceive that accidents occur, a part of me couldn’t assist however surprise if this was a crimson flag or simply an unfortunate state of affairs.
Second, he talked about that he’d had a very lengthy and nerve-racking day at work, and it positively confirmed. There have been moments throughout our date when he appeared slightly distracted and out of it, nearly like he wasn’t absolutely current. Once more, I get that all of us have off days, but it surely made it laborious for me to really feel like I acquired an actual sense of his persona.
How do I do know if I’m being too essential or if these are official indicators that we’d not be a great match?
— What’s Subsequent
DEAR WHAT’S NEXT: Suppose again on the date. What did you study him? Is he attention-grabbing? What did you want about his persona? Regardless of his lack of mindfulness, did something stand out for you?
If not, simply transfer on.
If you happen to assume there’s an opportunity you may like him, comply with a second date however don’t pay for it. Watch to see if he gives to reimburse you for the primary date, retaining in thoughts that he promised to take action.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance and I are planning our marriage ceremony, which is ready to happen subsequent 12 months, however we’re struggling to agree on the situation.
He’s been dreaming of a vacation spot marriage ceremony in Italy, whereas I really feel strongly about retaining it native to our house in South Dakota.
The thought of a marriage in Italy sounds stunning; nonetheless, for me, practicality and household are what matter most. Each of our households stay right here in South Dakota, and internet hosting an area marriage ceremony would make it a lot simpler and extra inexpensive for everybody to rejoice with us.
My household, particularly, doesn’t have the monetary means to journey to Italy. We come from a blue-collar background, so asking them to tackle the price of worldwide flights, lodging and different bills isn’t reasonable.
I’ve tried explaining to my fiance that if we select Italy, a lot of my family members doubtless received’t be capable of attend. The considered them lacking out on some of the essential days of my life makes me extraordinarily unhappy.
Whereas I need to respect his needs and create a day that displays each of our goals, I can’t assist however really feel like a vacation spot marriage ceremony may come at too nice a price.
How can I get my future husband to be on board with a marriage in South Dakota?
— Location, Location, Location
DEAR LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION: A compromise may very well be to host the marriage at house and take your honeymoon in Italy. You might even invite just a few mates who need to journey to affix you for a celebration in Italy. That means you each get a contact of what every of you needs.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their goals. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
