DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother and I purchased a house collectively some years in the past (I’ve by no means married, and he’s divorced).
Christmas playing cards, invites and whatnot meant for each of us typically come addressed to “John and Jim Doe.” This appears to point that we’re a pair. Wouldn’t it’s extra applicable to handle the envelope with “John Doe and Jim Doe”?
I’m not a prude, and we each get a chuckle out of the obvious fake pas, however am I proper about how a letter needs to be addressed?
GENTLE READER: Far be it from Miss Manners to discourage a chuckle, however pairing the names of siblings on the similar handle, with out the least considered there being some other relationship, is conventional. Solely it could have been, correctly, “The Messrs. John and Jim Doe.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I attend his dad and mom’ Christmas Eve celebration yearly. It begins round 4 p.m., and we normally head residence round 9 p.m.
They put out deli meats, rolls and a small bowl of nuts. Folks at all times convey various things so as to add to the meal. I normally make a pasta dish or meatballs. Yearly, no matter we convey is devoured!
This yr, my father-in-law talked about that they at all times have a lot meals left over, and that they don’t need folks to convey something.
I’m torn between bringing meals anyway, because it’s at all times eaten, or following their needs and being hungry for the night.
GENTLE READER: Your father-in-law’s instruction and the reasoning behind it appear clear to Miss Manners. Why are you contemplating violating it?
Ah, sure, so that you don’t go hungry. If what is obtainable will not be sufficient, certainly you may eat earlier than you attend.
However maybe that starvation is for the appreciation others present for the dishes you convey. Honest sufficient, though nonetheless not an excuse for going in opposition to the host’s expressed want.
However you’ll be gratified: Somebody is certain to say, “You didn’t bring your wonderful pasta dish? I look forward to that all year.” With a bit of luck, this is likely to be stated inside your father-in-law’s listening to.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother-in-law simply knowledgeable us, very last-minute, that he’s coming to our home for Christmas.
Every time he visits, he sleeps till round 10. My husband and I’ve three kids, ages 8, 3 and eight months. Ought to we’ve got the youngsters wait to open presents till their uncle is awake, discuss to him about waking earlier since it’s Christmas, or simply let the children open presents earlier than their uncle is up?
I don’t suppose he’d have any situation with us not ready for him.
GENTLE READER: Then why are you contemplating torturing younger kids and turning them in opposition to their uncle?
Miss Manners suggests solely the courtesy of telling your brother-in-law that the youngsters shall be opening their presents at 7, if they’ll wait even that lengthy, however that he’s welcome to sleep in.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
