DEAR MISS MANNERS: This time of yr, it usually rains within the afternoon, and so I carry an umbrella with me. Nonetheless, many individuals don’t.
Now and again, it can begin raining when I’m in a crowd — on the ballpark, for instance, or ready for the sunshine to vary on a crowded sidewalk. If I open my umbrella, then the rain that hits it falls onto the folks subsequent to me, most of whom do not need umbrellas. A number of have commented that it’s impolite or egocentric of me so as to add to their rain burden.
Whereas I perceive their unhappiness, it was their selection to depart the home with out an umbrella. Is it impolite of me to make use of mine in these conditions?
GENTLE READER: Are you hoping that Miss Manners will say it’s high-quality that your umbrella is channeling extra water onto the individual within the seat subsequent to you since you are solely including to the soaking that umbrella-less folks deserve? Or that poking somebody within the eye if you open it’s cheap collateral injury?
These hopes could be in useless.
In case you have — or need — a relationship with somebody subsequent to you, you may provide to share. If not, you will need to discover a option to create a long way from those that are much less ready.
If completely caught subsequent to them, you can open your umbrella simply sufficient to make a small tent over your head, through which case it can drip solely onto your individual shoulders. However you’d be excused for grumbling that it rains on the simply and the unjust.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m fortunate sufficient to have gardens throughout my home, together with alongside a metropolis sidewalk. My drawback is tips on how to reply in a cordial, or not less than a civil, option to associates and neighbors who ask me difficult questions on my backyard whereas I’m working in it.
These are usually not individuals who know tips on how to backyard, which is a part of why answering them is difficult. I hate to be impolite, however I additionally need to full my activity.
My responses have included pretending I don’t hear the individual, or saying, “If you really want to know about this, we can find a time to talk when I’m not gardening.” However my rudeness doesn’t cease them!
I don’t need to resort to operating and hiding, since then I go away the duty undone. My crops want me greater than my questioners!
GENTLE READER: Whereas she agrees that neither pretending to not hear nor operating and hiding are good options, Miss Manners believes that providing a later time will work if you happen to persist politely.
The important thing could also be to maintain working whilst you make the provide. If the questioner tries to maintain the dialog going (“Yes, but I was wondering …”), the reply is, “That’s exactly the sort of thing we should find another time to discuss” — as you proceed to dig and water.
You may then say “excuse me” and discover a activity that requires you to face a distinct course.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
