DEAR MISS MANNERS: I handled a good friend to lunch, however after we entered the restaurant, she talked about that someplace else was higher.
I used to be a bit shocked and thought it was simply an unconscious slip, however then this occurred once more with a distinct good friend.
What might I’ve stated to point that their feedback had been impolite with out offending them?
GENTLE READER: It’s rude to inform others that they’re being impolite, however maybe Miss Manners can accommodate you by making them really feel silly as an alternative.
Look involved and ask, in a quiet voice, in the event that they would favor to go elsewhere as an alternative. As it will possible be occurring whereas the waiter is strolling you to the desk, your good friend will instantly perceive the consequence of answering within the affirmative.
It will solely work if having to inform the waiter you’re leaving shall be extra embarrassing to your good friend than for you, however she trusts you’ll know this earlier than making an attempt the experiment.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I shall be throwing myself a sixtieth birthday celebration subsequent yr.
The one present I need is the presence of the household and mates I invite to the occasion. I intend to incorporate “No gifts, please” on the invites.
All that being stated, I notice some individuals will convey a present anyway.
Among the individuals I shall be inviting have a tendency to provide items of alcohol, which I are not looking for. I don’t eat a lot alcohol to start with, and I’ve particular tastes — I don’t like dry wine, for instance.
Is there a solution to politely state this on the invitation? Or do I simply gratefully settle for any items of alcohol I’ll obtain, then discreetly give it away later to somebody who will take pleasure in it?
GENTLE READER: It has lengthy been Miss Manners’ coverage to discourage invites that inform company to not convey items — not as a result of she objects to the sentiment, however as a result of she finds the bald assertion of expectation impertinent.
Additional appending an in depth record of directions about what to not convey could be mystifying. The well mannered answer could be to throw a celebration — not, particularly, a birthday celebration — at which you’ll be able to then admit that it’s your birthday.
In the event you can’t try this, then, sure: Give away the items you didn’t count on, and are not looking for, later.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a member of a number of organizations. Ceaselessly I’ve despatched updates or feedback to the leaders of those teams, who then ahead my e-mail to everybody with their reply.
Do I have to put a “for your eyes only” disclaimer on every e-mail? That appears a bit stiff, however my emails aren’t essentially for publication!
GENTLE READER: That you’re tempted so as to add such a disclaimer suggests to Miss Manners that you simply already know one thing concerning the recipients: specifically, that they hit Reply All on each e-mail, or that they don’t really learn something that’s despatched to them.
Alternatively, you may not know these individuals nicely sufficient to foretell what they may do along with your correspondence.
In both case, a simpler answer could be to make sure that your emails really are prepared for such distribution.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
