DEAR ABBY: I’ve recognized my finest buddy, “Carl,” and his spouse for 30 years. We do every part collectively — cruises, holidays, birthdays, and so forth.
They permit (and allow) their boxer canine to go after harmless cats and squirrels. It’s prefer it’s a recreation. The canine doesn’t know any totally different.
I just lately adopted two indoor cats. I dwell within the nation, and I even have a 5-year-old Lab who wouldn’t harm a bunny.
I can now not enable Carl and his spouse to go to as a result of they (primarily she) have allowed their canine to terrorize the kittens and squirrels of their neighborhood.
I do know she is going to make me out to be a villain and refuse to come back if the canine can’t. Carl and I preserve avoiding the dialog. Any recommendation?
— APPALLED IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR APPALLED: As I see it you will have two decisions. Both have the dialog you will have been avoiding or go to your buddy solely at their residence or on impartial territory.
Frankly, I’m shocked the house owners of a few of these harmless cats haven’t knowledgeable the authorities {that a} vicious canine harmed or killed their pet. If you happen to witnessed such a factor, recognizing Carl’s spouse is sadistic, it’s best to have made the decision.
P.S. Why are you continue to buddies with creeps like this?
DEAR ABBY: My youthful brother, “Paul,” is 40 and in a rut.
He had been buddies with a buddy of mine, “Mitch,” whom I met in school. Paul additionally turned good buddies with Mitch’s spouse.
After a yr of shut friendship, my brother made a go at Mitch’s spouse throughout a BBQ. He was promptly requested to depart, and so they have ceased contact with him.
It has been a yr since Mitch spoke to Paul. Mitch has little interest in rekindling the connection.
My brother is satisfied that Mitch’s spouse will depart her husband for him, even supposing there was no communication and he or she by no means expressed an curiosity.
Paul has a longtime therapist who’s conscious of the problem. I’m involved that my brother is losing his life pining after somebody who just isn’t an choice for him.
He has by no means been married, doesn’t have youngsters and lives in an remoted mountain space. He’s additionally jobless and principally dwelling off an inheritance. I do know all of this as a result of it’s all Paul ever talks about.
At this time, I informed him I’m executed entertaining this delusion and received’t speak to him till he makes some adjustments. I do know I’m venting, however I have to know if I made the precise transfer. Did I?
— WITNESS TO A DISASTER
DEAR WITNESS: I don’t assume it’s best to utterly stop contact together with your very mixed-up brother. I do assume that if Paul turns a dialog to the topic of Mitch’s spouse, you’d be doing him a favor to level out {that a} relationship together with her isn’t going to occur.
Then flip the dialog towards issues which may assist him, together with discovering a job that may make him much less remoted and reserving extra classes together with his therapist.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
