DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a cruise to Alaska, my husband, my 24-year-old daughter and I made a decision to splurge for a helicopter journey to see a glacier.
We rode to the glacier with a pair of their 70s and their younger grandchild.
We got very strict security directions on how one can stroll out to the helicopter, how one can enter, and who sits the place to stability the load.
The grandma determined to cease and pull out her cellphone to take a photograph simply earlier than coming into the chopper. The trainer tried to get her to board, however it was very loud, so my daughter, who was subsequent in line to enter, tapped her shoulder to alert her.
She acquired very upset and mentioned that my daughter hit her on function. All of us apologized profusely, however she wouldn’t let it go, and in reality proceeded to inform all the opposite those that my daughter shoved her.
In actual fact, my daughter did no such factor.
How does one cope with this case? We now needed to spend time on a glacier with a gaggle of chilly individuals who heard that my daughter was a snow monster.
GENTLE READER: It was easy politeness in your half to imagine that this was an trustworthy misunderstanding, and to behave on that assumption by apologizing.
However if you’re pondering there have been solely two potential responses to the grandmother’s subsequent rudeness — a impolite counter-retort or meek impotence — you’ll be mistaken.
The grandmother’s habits was outrageous: She publicly — and untruthfully — accused your daughter of accosting her.
The well mannered response to such habits is the chilly shoulder — exactly what the grandmother did to you, minus the pointing finger.
The extra rational and well mannered you’re (although clearly offended on the suggestion of wrongdoing), and the extra your nemesis resorts to whipping herself right into a frenzy of finger-pointing and accusations, the extra everybody else on the tour will conclude that yours is the extra credible story — and in addition that your organization is extra nice.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I bumped into an sudden soup scenario.
My sister flew cross-country to go to my mother and me, and my mother spent hours making a scrumptious soup so my sister would have a sizzling meal prepared when she arrived. My mother is a superb prepare dinner.
Sadly, as all of us sat right down to eat, we seen {that a} small brush, used for cleansing bottle elements, had fallen into the soup and had probably cooked with it for some time.
My sister and I had been fairly postpone, however we might inform my mother could be heartbroken if we refused to eat it.
What ought to now we have completed?
GENTLE READER: Fast household guidelines about sanitary situations round meals could also be marginally much less strict by mutual consent, however consent remains to be key.
As there have been two of you, you and your sister might have resorted to any distraction and deception methods you might have labored out once you had been younger. Corresponding to one in all you declaring how nice the soup was whereas the opposite whisks it to the kitchen earlier than your mom might verify the bowls.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
