DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a kids’s celebration at a widely known pizza place the place tables are reserved for a number of hours and the kids can play video games.
My group arrived 10 minutes late to seek out that the opposite friends, together with the dad and mom of the opposite children, have been already being served. I didn’t actually thoughts, as a result of my get together didn’t embody children.
Nonetheless, one other group that arrived 20 minutes after the beginning time did embody kids, they usually didn’t get any pizza: The host refused to order for them as a result of they have been late. The poor children have been devastated.
Ought to the host have ordered extra meals for the latecomers, particularly because the different dad and mom have been consuming meals meant for the kids?
GENTLE READER: Put one other manner, was the host right to publicly chastise the dad and mom and punish them, and their kids, by withholding meals? Miss Manners is assured you already know the reply isn’t any.
A extra fascinating query is how the group that arrived after it is best to have responded. Many adults will assume that the host’s rudeness justifies an indignant response — and naturally, that may vastly entertain the kids. However that may be flawed.
They need to order their very own meals and be charming to the birthday youngster — and icily correct with the host.
If the kids are of an age to know, one can take satisfaction in explaining the lesson within the automotive on the way in which house — particularly, that one’s habits demonstrates one’s character. We behave effectively as a result of we’re good, respectable folks. Johnny’s mother was impolite as a result of … she shouldn’t be.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: These days it has appeared that the phrases “We’re pregnant” and “They’re pregnant” have been subsumed into acceptable utilization.
Though I’m not a health care provider, final time I checked, solely ladies get pregnant. There isn’t a organic actuality the place a lady and her associate are each pregnant with the identical child. Therefore, “My partner is pregnant” or “They’re expecting” are extra correct.
I perceive that society is ablaze with inclusive pronouns, however that is past the pale.
Just one individual can be wrangling the precise being pregnant. There isn’t a “we” when she’s vomiting, being painfully kicked from inside her physique, or going by the trials of labor and supply. Her threat of extreme issues from being pregnant and childbirth ought to not less than permit her to personal the situation.
GENTLE READER: Though Miss Manners believes that these you condemn seemingly grasp primary biology, and are referring to their shared dedication, she finds herself extra occupied with a elementary query of our time.
That’s: When is it proper to be indignant about others’ innocent decisions? And its corollary: When does the correctness of 1’s place justify gagging etiquette and locking her within the closet?
Opposite to fashionable opinion, the reply to each questions is “almost never.”
You’re clearly not going to make use of plural pronouns to your personal or your associate’s doable pregnancies. However please chorus from accosting {couples} who do.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
