DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended two touring Broadway exhibits, and plenty of households had been at every efficiency.
For one present, some folks wore costumes; throughout from me, a toddler had on a quite massive hat the entire time. On the different present, a close-by baby sang alongside, loudly, to each music they knew.
Is it improper to count on the accompanying adults to show these kids correct viewers conduct?
GENTLE READER: “Proper audience behavior” is a subject of sizzling debate today.
The silence that each you and Miss Manners desire dates solely from the early twentieth century. Earlier than that, audiences handled performs, and even operas, as in the event that they had been streaming the entertainments at dwelling. That’s to say, they talked and wandered round, paying consideration solely when one thing them.
Within the twenty first century, interactive leisure has develop into frequent, even in such hitherto one-way venues as museums. Everybody, all over the place, is requested for quick suggestions.
Rock live shows encourage enthusiastic noise. It’s not simply hats that may block one’s view, however telephones being held as much as take images, or folks standing as much as dance.
Now the expectation of viewers participation has unfold to film theaters and stay theaters. That being the case, you’ll be smart to inquire concerning the venue’s coverage earlier than shopping for tickets to future productions.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve an off-the-cuff acquaintance whom I see frequently and have a excessive opinion of. This particular person requested me to donate to a particular charity.
Typically, I might contribute a small quantity, however the charity she named has a poor fame amongst a large number of my mates, a lot of whom have the medical situation the charity claims to assist.
I don’t need to rain on her parade or discourage the work she feels is necessary, and I might gladly contribute to a different group.
Is ignoring the request the kindest technique to proceed? Is there a well mannered technique to assist my acquaintance’s charitable work with out donating to this group, which, in good conscience, I can not?
GENTLE READER: Wouldn’t that charitable woman need to know concerning the issues others have had with that group? As a donor, she may be ready to look into these complaints and, if discovered legitimate, to request that they be addressed.
However it isn’t crucial to inform her, and even to extract one other suggestion from her. When somebody asks for a donation, you aren’t required to oblige. Miss Manners would suppose it higher to provide to charities you understand to be efficient. You possibly can at all times point out them as a substitute response — not as a return request, however to point out that your philanthropy finances is already dedicated.
However even that’s not required to be well mannered when responding to a solicitation: “Thank you for telling me about it” is enough. And certainly, in circumstances the place you might be inclined to provide, it might be smart to provide your self that further time to look into the worth of the group.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
