DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am going out to dinner twice a month with a gaggle of 5 associates. We at all times ask for separate checks, so there may be by no means any quibbling about learn how to pay.
Nonetheless, one pal at all times orders desserts “for the table.” She doesn’t ask whether or not individuals want to share dessert, or what to order, however simply prices forward.
I by no means partake of the desserts; I’ve greater than sufficient to eat with my entree already, and work to withstand including anything.
I often really feel pressured to assist pay for the desserts, however actually I’d quite not, since I’d desire to not organize them within the first place. Alternatively, it feels awkward to sit down at a desk with “shared” desserts and never chip in when the invoice comes.
What’s the etiquette on this? I’ll fortunately chip in if that’s the proper factor to do — though, sadly, figuring out that I’m paying for a share within the desserts will make it more durable for me to withstand them.
GENTLE READER: Since your pal’s dessert trick happens recurrently, it appears to Miss Manners that you must come ready subsequent time by saying, as she orders, “Thank you, but I’m not having dessert today. But you all go ahead.”
Then you definitely had higher hope that your psychological scheme works and you aren’t tempted to partake, even when pressured to take action.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable to position a small night clutch on the desk whereas eating out?
Typically, the restaurant chairs have open backs, so if I place the clutch behind me, it falls to the ground. (Within the worst circumstances, it spills its contents, too.)
If I place it in my lap beneath my serviette, if often slides to the ground, particularly if my gown has a slippery material. If I attempt to place it beneath my leg, it cuts off circulation, even when I handle to not crush the contents.
Most clutches don’t have straps to accommodate a handbag hook, both.
However I’ve seen so many extreme feedback towards putting a bag on the desk, I’m at a loss.
GENTLE READER: Why the manufacturing business has not caught on to the truth that ladies carry stuff — particularly when that very same business encourages shopping for that stuff within the first place — is past Miss Manners. (Simply take a look at how pathetically grateful we’re when our skirts have pockets!)
With all the good innovations of the fashionable world, can nobody create lodging for our luggage? Not simply at restaurant tables, however in driver’s seats, at pubs, in theaters, on buses? And never simply these desk hooks that leap to the ground on the slightest motion.
We must always not should make a fuss. However till Miss Manners makes her fortune by inventing an answer that works, she’s going to help you place your clutch on the desk. If there are complaints, she urges you to show to the server for an alternate advice — maybe one other chair could be procured. If we maintain making our voices heard, maybe in the future there shall be change.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
