DEAR ABBY: I’m a 64-year-old man. I’m single and have two daughters and 4 grandkids.
I’ve been mountain climbing buddies for the previous 5 years with a younger girl (“Sarah”), who’s my daughter’s age. I deal with her like my third daughter and a member of the family.
Sarah is married, and her husband doesn’t get pleasure from mountain climbing. Her husband and my daughters settle for our friendship and are comfortable that I discovered an individual I can hike with.
I’ve been courting a girl (“Toni”) who’s near my age. Six months in the past, I urged we should always spend our lives collectively. My daughters and Sarah had been comfortable for me.
Toni rejected my proposal, citing that I should have some sort of romantic relationship with Sarah.
After I talked about it to Sarah, she distanced from me. I believe she thinks she could have interfered with my relationship with Toni. We’re nonetheless pals however not like earlier than.
Ought to I speak to Sarah and ask why she distanced from me? I really feel depressed about this and have some regret. I mustn’t have instructed her what Toni stated.
— HIKER IN COLORADO
DEAR HIKER: I don’t suppose you probably did something mistaken by telling Sarah what Toni implied. You have got a proper to ask any query you want of your mountain climbing buddy. You gained’t know why your heat five-year relationship together with her cooled except you ask.
What I want to know is whether or not you’re nonetheless courting Toni after she rejected your proposal. If the reply is sure, do you intend to proceed, figuring out you don’t have any future together with her except you discover a male mountain climbing buddy?
DEAR ABBY: I’ve had a buddy who has been in my life and a part of my group of pals’ lives since highschool. Years and years later, she has develop into more and more adverse towards all of us for no motive.
Her husband is dying now, and we don’t know find out how to deal with it.
She has ghosted all of us as a result of she’s so filled with hatred and negativity. We had a long time of enjoyable and recollections, however she needs nothing to do with us.
How can we deal with the dying of her husband? She says we’re all phonies, which is all in her head.
— PERPLEXED IN OHIO
DEAR PERPLEXED: How lengthy has this girl been changing into “negative”? There could also be a motive why she has modified. Her husband is sick and he’s not going to get higher. If she loves him and feels any accountability to him in any respect, she’s directing all of her energies in that path.
The best way to deal with this could be for you longtime pals to step ahead. Inform her you care. Volunteer to assist in any approach she’s going to enable, and don’t isolate her any greater than she has remoted herself.
In the event you haven’t achieved that, I can see why she may need stated she thought you had been phonies.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
