DEAR ABBY: A detailed buddy, whom I additionally work with, agreed to attend a paleontology exhibit with me roughly six months earlier than the exhibit was scheduled to open.
We have been each enthusiastic about it and talked often about how a lot enjoyable it will be to attend collectively.
A few week after it opened, I used to be unexpectedly out of the workplace for a medical emergency, and my buddy attended the exhibit with out me.
Am I incorrect for feeling upset? She retains telling me to recover from it and isn’t being understanding in any respect. Am I overreacting?
— BOTHERED IN THE EAST
DEAR BOTHERED: If the exhibit was completed earlier than you have been in a position to go, you shouldn’t blame your buddy for seeing it. If, nevertheless, the exhibit was nonetheless on, I can’t blame you for being upset that she went with out you.
The query now could be, is that this price ending a friendship over? (I hope not.)
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been taking good care of my father-in-law for 4 years — getting his groceries, going to the financial institution, choosing up prescriptions and doing totally different duties.
He’s disabled and lives in an upstairs residence with no entry to getting downstairs. He can’t stroll, bathe himself or get out and in of mattress by himself. He has employed a nurse to get him out and in of mattress daily. As a result of we stay half-hour away and we each work, there is no such thing as a method we are able to handle this.
My father handed away lately, so I’ve additionally been serving to my mother.
All of this has put a pressure on our marriage — I’m going a technique, and my husband goes the opposite, plus my father-in-law has complained that I’m not coming over. I’ve tried explaining to him that I can’t be in two locations without delay.
Our twenty fifth marriage ceremony anniversary is arising, and now we have advised each of our dad and mom we received’t be coming over that weekend and will likely be chopping again to each different weekend so my husband and I can spend time collectively.
To our dismay, we obtained pushback, with feedback like, “Well, you see each other every night.”
We tried to clarify that by the point we get residence, eat and do the dishes, there isn’t a lot collectively time, and positively not sufficient for a day on the park or one thing.
Do you’ve recommendation on how one can deal with this? We wish to proceed to assist however we’d like our time too, so we thought we had advised compromise.
— BURNED OUT IN WISCONSIN
DEAR BURNED OUT: Is there anybody else who might be useful to your father-in-law, who now appears remoted from everybody however you and his son? Are there any family members or buddies of his and his late spouse who might go to him?
If the reply is not any, somebody out of your spiritual neighborhood or your native space company on getting older may have the ability to assist.
You and your husband look like loving and beneficiant individuals, however you should put the well being of your marriage larger in your record of priorities and never allow yourselves to be guilted out of it.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
