DEAR ABBY: My oldest daughter, “Alexa,” is breaking my coronary heart.
She’s engaged to a pleasant sufficient man she’s been with for 5 years, however she has solid apart each single marriage ceremony custom that’s necessary to us.
Alexa gained’t put on an engagement ring as a result of diamonds are “ugly” and never politically right. She has refused to have both an engagement get together or a bridal bathe. As a result of they’re forgoing a registry, my mates don’t know what to get them for marriage ceremony items. (Seems, none of my mates are invited to the marriage — solely the couple’s family and friends.)
She additionally refuses to have a bridal get together, so her sisters are harm as a result of they needed to be bridesmaids.
I used to be so wanting ahead to purchasing along with her for her bridal robe, however she doesn’t need to put on one. (She purchased a plain white gown as a substitute.)
There might be no reception — simply champagne and marriage ceremony cake within the basement of the church. There’s no marriage ceremony dinner, not even appetizers, and no marriage ceremony toasts. There gained’t be a primary dance as a result of there’s no band.
Worst of all, her father can’t stroll her down the aisle as a result of, in her phrases, she’s not property to be given away.
I perceive that she watched her youthful sister flip right into a bridezilla, however her sister did have a beautiful marriage ceremony that we paid for. We’re keen to pay for hers, too, however she and her fiance are refusing to do anyfactor we wish.
They’re each docs and pays for no matter they need.
Her father is able to keep dwelling slightly than be ignored, and I’m unsure I need to be there both.
How can we navigate this with out alienating our daughter?
— RUINED WEDDING IN NEW YORK
DEAR RUINED WEDDING: You and your husband navigate this by reminding yourselves that Alexa’s marriage ceremony is hers, not yours.
You’ve already had two weddings — your individual and your youthful daughter’s. Consolation yourselves with the information that you simply and your husband can spend the cash you’d have blown on this shindig on a luxurious trip for yourselves.
DEAR ABBY: What do you consider some family who requested to return and stick with us whereas they relocated to our state, and introduced a handgun and ammunition into our dwelling with out our information? We now have a 7-year-old daughter!
They don’t assume they did something unsuitable and declare they weren’t obligated to tell us as a result of it was locked and the ammunition was saved aside from it.
— THREATENED IN OREGON
DEAR THREATENED: From what you’ve written, your family observe gun security. Their weapon is locked, and the ammunition is saved individually. I’ll assume that your baby didn’t discover or deal with their weapon.
That mentioned, nobody has the “right” to carry a gun into another person’s dwelling with out their permission.
In case your family can’t instantly discover different lodging, they need to verify what the Oregon gun legal guidelines are and contemplate storing their weapon away from your home within the trunk of their car.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
