DEAR ABBY: I’ve had a falling-out with my sister over her 13-year-old son, my nephew.
He’s typically a cheerful youngster, with the whole lot a boy may need, carefully. My sister is separated from his father. She has major custody, however they do have a co-parenting relationship.
My nephew respects and obeys his father, however he treats my sister like crap. He yells at her and his grandmother, continuously talks again, and many others. When he tried it on me, I put him in his place with some alternative phrases. My sister took offense, and we argued over it.
I believe he wants clear penalties for disrespecting adults. As an alternative, my sister makes excuses for why he behaves this fashion — “He didn’t sleep well last night. He’s upset about X-Y-Z,” and many others.
I do know I’m armchair-parenting, however I can not stand to see this youngster yell at my sister or aged mom, and I can’t tolerate that conduct towards me.
We find yourself arguing each time I attempt to speak to her about it. I’ve stopped spending time with them due to it. Recommendation, please.
— OLD-SCHOOL AUNTIE
DEAR AUNTIE: Your nephew might act out as a result of he’s getting into his turbulent teenagers, and this can be a part. It may be that his mom has but to make him endure the implications for his disrespectful conduct towards you and his grandmother.
Since your sister and her ex are co-parenting, they need to each be speaking to their son about “respect.” His grandmother additionally has a tongue, and he or she shouldn’t tolerate her grandson’s unhealthy conduct, both.
Personally, I’d deal with it by avoiding the child till he straightens up, which can take ceaselessly.
DEAR ABBY: A pricey pal of 12 years just lately misplaced her beloved canine (whom she known as her third youngster) to outdated age. She selected to place the canine down due to well being issues and has been racked with guilt ever since.
I misplaced my 19-year-old son 10 years in the past to suicide. This has been the worst decade of my life, and I grieve for him day by day.
My pal has been equating the demise of her pet to the demise of my son, which has induced a significant rift in our relationship. It isn’t solely insulting but in addition past hurtful to me to listen to that the passing of a pet is as painful and tragic because the lack of my son.
I’ve advised her time and time once more there isn’t any evaluating the lack of a human youngster to the lack of a canine “child,” but she continues to disagree.
How ought to I take care of her and this case? Your recommendation can be enormously appreciated.
— GRIEVING MOM IN THE SOUTH
DEAR GRIEVING MOM: I’ll reduce your pal some slack as a result of she’s in ache proper now, however she’s deluded.
The ache of sending a beloved pet throughout the Rainbow Bridge and that of shedding a toddler usually are not comparable, and for her to have stated it — not solely as soon as however to harp on it — is ridiculous.
One of the simplest ways to take care of this lady can be to distance your self till she regains some perspective.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
