DEAR ABBY: My spouse of 47 years handed away 16 months in the past after residing with a incapacity for a few years. I took care of her till the tip and liked her with all my coronary heart.
9 months after her passing, I turned concerned with one other lady my age. Being alone was not simple for me.
I’ve two sons, 43 and 46. My youthful son and my contemporaries are completely happy that I’ve discovered somebody to share my life with. Nevertheless, my older son, who has a spouse and children, is not chatting with me and flipped out at a public occasion after I talked about my girlfriend’s identify. He appears to suppose I ought to be alone the remainder of my life.
I despatched him a textual content after his outrageous conduct, saying that I’d all the time love him, however till he accepts the truth that I’ve a brand new woman in my life, I not take into account him my son.
Possibly I overreacted. I haven’t heard from him or seen my grandkids in two months.
I do know of different widowers who’ve had the identical downside. I discover it laborious to consider our youngsters might be so thoughtless.
I understand many individuals who lose the love of their lifetime should not occupied with discovering one other, however I don’t need to spend the remainder of my life alone.
Am I incorrect? Ought to I apologize to my son?
— GLAD I FOUND SOMEONE
DEAR GLAD: You’ll have been too harsh whenever you mentioned what you probably did to your son, however he was far out of line when he prompted a scene on the point out of your woman good friend.
You liked and cared for his mom so long as she was on this earth. You had been an important husband and accomplice, and also you don’t owe anybody an apology for eager to stay your life to the fullest. Please have a good time it with those that are mature sufficient to know this.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been pleasant with “Blair” for 20 years.
Throughout this time, I’ve taken her to docs’ appointments and made dinner for her and her household after her mom and stepfather died.
Once I went on trip with my daughter, Blair mentioned she’d love to come back alongside however didn’t have the cash, so I paid for her. (She by no means tried to pay me again.)
On one other event, she insisted on coming to my dwelling together with her grownup youngsters to make use of my pool, regardless that I requested her to not as a result of my son was dwelling with pneumonia.
When my mother died a number of months in the past, I known as Blair after the out-of-state funeral. She promised to name me again however didn’t name for 2 months.
Once I instructed her I used to be dissatisfied in her, she responded that she feels unhealthy. However she has carried out issues like this so many instances that I really feel used.
I not need to be buddies together with her, however she retains calling me and I don’t know what to do.
Any recommendation for a one-sided friendship I can’t appear to finish?
— ENOUGH ALREADY IN ILLINOIS
DEAR ENOUGH: Take a web page out of Blair’s playbook. When she calls or texts, take a very long time to reply. When she desires to get collectively, be too busy.
If she asks you if there’s a purpose for the change in your conduct, inform her the reality simply as you instructed it to me.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
