DEAR HARRIETTE: My spouse and I’ve made the choice to maneuver our household to Barcelona. We’ve got three teenage daughters — aged 14, 16 and 17 — who’re hooked up to our present dwelling in Phoenix.
They’ve made it clear that they’re not blissful in regards to the transfer as a result of they love their faculties, their mates and the familiarity of the group we’ve constructed right here.
We utterly perceive their considerations, particularly given their ages. Uprooting them throughout such youth appears like an enormous threat, however we really imagine this transfer is the perfect choice for our household in the long term.
My spouse is initially from Spain, and for years she has dreamed of returning to her dwelling nation. It has taken longer than anticipated to get every thing in place, however the alternative has lastly introduced itself. We’ve discovered work, housing and faculties in Barcelona, and we’re excited in regards to the new experiences and cultural publicity this transfer will carry.
Nonetheless, we’re struggling to strike a stability between what feels proper for us as dad and mom and what feels truthful to our daughters. They’ve accused us of being egocentric and never contemplating how this may disrupt their lives.
How can we assist our daughters see the worth on this transfer whereas nonetheless respecting their feelings and considerations?
— Uprooted
DEAR UPROOTED: It’s completely comprehensible that your daughters really feel upset by such a dramatic transfer at this formative time of their lives. There’s most likely little you possibly can say to make them really feel higher.
If in case you have the sources, you need to see should you can prepare for them to go to mates in a 12 months or supply to carry a buddy over to go to.
As soon as your loved ones will get to Barcelona and begins to settle, chances are high, they are going to have dynamic experiences that may make them really feel comfy and excited. Keep resolute along with your choice, and speak in regards to the alternatives in Spain as you additionally acknowledge how powerful this transition is for everybody.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I actually love pets, particularly cats. Lately, my neighbor requested me to take care of her cat for what she mentioned could be a number of days, but it surely’s now been 4 weeks, and she or he nonetheless hasn’t returned.
Whereas I really like animals and have been doing my finest to look after the cat, this wasn’t one thing I agreed to. It’s beginning to change into a pressure on my schedule and funds, and I’m involved in regards to the added duty.
I don’t need the cat to undergo attributable to my neighbor’s lack of duty, however I actually don’t know the best way to deal with this together with her with out creating battle.
— Sudden Pet Duties
DEAR UNEXPECTED PET RESPONSIBILITIES: That is no time to be passive. Name your neighbor and inform her that you’ve cared for her cat for so long as you possibly can; it’s time to return and take it again.
If she says she is unable to take her cat again, inform her you might be sorry, however that is her duty. Maybe she ought to name an animal shelter or place an advert to discover a new dwelling for the cat, however your private home will not be an possibility.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You possibly can ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
