DEAR ABBY: I would like recommendation about getting involved with my daughter.
She’s 22 and has a busy life. I perceive her struggles with balancing all of the day-to-day commitments, however she is not going to return my calls or texts.
Now we have had a bruised previous due to my divorce 5 years in the past, however we have now talked issues via to the place I really feel we have now been repairing previous wounds. Each time we’re collectively, it’s as if nothing has marred our relationship.
I do know she’s younger, however I must know if I needs to be extra persistent or simply await her to ultimately contact me.
— WAITING PARENT IN WASHINGTON
DEAR PARENT: You didn’t point out how persistent you’ve gotten been, however you gained’t turn into nearer to your daughter when you hound her with requests for extra contact.
She could also be busy, distracted or simply self-centered. Textual content or name her as soon as a month and you might have higher luck getting a response.
DEAR ABBY: I used to be raped by a member of the family and, resulting from particular circumstances, advised nobody besides one different member of the family, whom I swore to secrecy.
This confidante received mad at me due to my non secular beliefs, and now she’s saying if I move away earlier than she does, she’s going to inform my grown youngsters who assaulted me.
I’m praying she mentioned it out of anger, however I’m scared as a result of I do know my youngsters would hurt the rapist, if not kill him, for what he did.
I can’t perceive why this member of the family would say such a factor. What can I say or do to guard my secret? God has taken care of me, and my violator is locked up now for different causes.
— FEARFUL IN THE WEST
DEAR FEARFUL: If you advised your relative about your rape, it was now not a secret.
Since you are actually afraid she’s going to inform your youngsters, method her by saying that if she follows via, you worry they are going to take revenge after he’s launched and, by doing so, damage their very own lives.
DEAR ABBY: My husband has most cancers, and the docs say he has perhaps a yr left.
Earlier than his prognosis, we had pals we might hang around with and go to dinner with a couple of times a month. Now I don’t hear a phrase from them. They don’t name or textual content to ask how we’re doing.
Is it my duty to get ahold of them? I really feel like I’m on their lonesome on this combat, they usually don’t appear to care.
— INVISIBLE IN IOWA
DEAR INVISIBLE: What a tragic letter. Please settle for my sympathy on your husband’s prognosis. This can be a tragic state of affairs, and never one that you just and your husband needs to be dealing with alone.
The absence of those pals might have much less to do with lack of caring than an amazing worry of most cancers and an lack of ability to face their very own mortality.
After all you possibly can attain out to them. However after that, in the event that they nonetheless can’t step up, you may need higher luck by becoming a member of a most cancers help group. In case you do, you’ll discover you might be nowhere close to as alone as you assume you might be.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
