DEAR HARRIETTE: All of my pals are into working, and currently they’ve been speaking about coaching for a marathon collectively.
They maintain encouraging me to affix them, saying it could be a tremendous problem, an important bonding expertise and one thing I’d really feel happy with conducting.
The issue is that I hate working. I’ve by no means loved it, and I’ve zero ardour for it. The concept of coaching for months and working 26.2 miles sounds depressing, not thrilling.
On the identical time, I really feel like I’m lacking out by not taking part. I don’t wish to be the odd one out whereas they’re all supporting one another and celebrating this big milestone collectively. I fear that if I don’t at the very least attempt, I’ll really feel unnoticed or remorse not being part of one thing so necessary to them.
Nonetheless,I don’t wish to drive myself into doing one thing I hate only for the sake of becoming in.
Ought to I push myself to attempt it anyway and see if I be taught to like it? Or is it OK to say no and discover different methods to attach with my pals with out working a marathon?
— Peer Stress
DEAR PEER PRESSURE: It’s comprehensible that you just fear about shedding momentum and intimacy with your mates if you’re the one one selecting to not take part in working. That’s OK. Relationship dynamics change over time, and it’s OK for you to not take part in one thing that doesn’t curiosity you.
There may be an alternate. Together with your restricted curiosity within the sport however actual curiosity in your mates, take into account providing to doc their course of.
Would you be keen to go to apply runs as soon as a month — or with another frequency — and take footage of them on their run? Interview them periodically about their experiences? Supply different logistical help as they practice? Be there on the day of the marathon to cheer them on and document their success?
This could possibly be a beautiful strategy to keep related to them with out having to do the factor you dislike.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Just a few months in the past, my son was brutally attacked and robbed outdoors of a nightclub. He ended up having three surgical procedures and remains to be in bodily remedy.
Fortunately, he’s lastly in a position to stroll once more, however having to maintain him and see him that method broke my coronary heart.
His fortieth birthday is arising, and he plans to have a celebration. I simply can’t wrap my head round this.
After a near-death expertise, why would you wish to go proper again to partying? Isn’t that how we acquired right here within the first place?
— Fearful Mother
DEAR FEARFUL MOM: As a mom and the one who nursed him again to the place he’s right now, it is smart that you’d be frightened about his subsequent steps.
What you don’t need is on your son to stay fearful and to again away from life. Having a celebration to have fun his life is usually a fantastic expertise for him and all in attendance. Don’t discourage him.
On the identical time, you’ll be able to encourage him to make protected decisions for his life. No matter his position was in getting damage — like presumably not being sober — he ought to study so he doesn’t repeat these errors. He might wish to take self-defense lessons as properly.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their goals. You may ship questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
