DEAR ABBY: My spouse died 5 years in the past. I waited for 4 years earlier than getting again within the relationship scene.
My girlfriend was divorced six years in the past. Her ex-husband lives in a distinct state. She refuses to inform him about our relationship as a result of she says she doesn’t need to damage his emotions.
Her ex calls and texts her on a regular basis. I like her rather a lot, and our relationship has been nice in each method. I simply can’t recover from her not telling him.
I’ve talked to her about this, however she refuses to inform him. Ought to I be apprehensive about this?
— EX ISSUE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR EX ISSUE: I feel so. This girl could also be legally divorced from her husband however is just not emotionally, which can be why she’s reluctant to inform him. She may additionally be much less invested in your relationship than you might be.
Ask her whether or not she would need to know if her ex met somebody and began a relationship. Then ask the reverse query as a result of, if you’re critical about her, the present state of affairs is unfair to you.
DEAR ABBY: I’m involved about my daughter.
She’s in a pleasant relationship, which appears good. They’ve two lovely sons, ages 4 and a couple of, good jobs, a pleasant house and good households who present a number of assist. We’re all the time there for each other.
My concern is that my daughter’s associate is not going to transfer ahead with an engagement and proposal of marriage. A couple of years in the past, I discussed marriage to him, and he answered, “Soon.” His dad and mom additionally stated the time can be coming quickly.
I heard from somebody that he stated there was a number of divorce in his household, and that’s what’s holding him again.
I really feel for my daughter. Whereas her sister and cousins are getting married, she is sitting idle. I don’t actually know the way she is feeling as a result of I attempt to not butt in, however that is hurting my spouse and me, and presumably her.
Ought to I say one thing once more or keep out of it? She can be a lovely and completely happy bride.
— EMPATHETIC DAD IN ILLINOIS
DEAR DAD: Sorry to be a grump, nevertheless it’s time to assume realistically. There may be much more to this than what a lovely and completely happy bride your daughter would make.
Has she thought of what would occur to her and the kids if one thing unexpected occurred to her associate? Who can be legally empowered to make medical and monetary selections for him? Her? His dad and mom? Has he thought of what the end result of his stalling might be, two kids later?
Discuss together with your daughter and ensure she understands the implications of what’s occurring. Sure, she and her associate are completely happy. Bless them for that. However it’s attainable neither of them is considering pragmatically and, for the sake of her and the kids, that ought to change.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
