DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband received a brand new job, and as a solution to get to know his new co-workers, we determined to host a vacation get together at our home.
We invited the folks he works most intently with, his quick boss, and everybody’s spouses. It was about 10 folks in all.
I’m not used to being a hostess however put quite a lot of effort, money and time into the meals and decorations. We had turkey, ham and plenty of sides and desserts. The unfold was spectacular and exquisite.
When the visitors arrived, it turned out that they had all ridden with the boss and his spouse of their massive van as a substitute of driving their very own vehicles. About quarter-hour after their arrival, and earlier than hardly any meals had been served, the boss’s spouse received a telephone name and stated she and her husband wanted to assist a pal transfer some furnishings — proper now!
She then proceeded to spherical up all of my visitors, load them into their van and drive away, leaving nobody for the get together.
A fortune in meals was left on my desk. I bear in mind standing there, taking a look at it and crying. I used to be so humiliated and indignant. I truthfully by no means wish to host a gathering of any type ever once more.
My query: Was there any solution to have prevented this impolite lady from stealing away all of my visitors?
GENTLE READER: Counter-questions: Did the boss and his spouse drop the visitors off earlier than the emergency furnishings transfer? Have been they left on the road? Coerced into serving to?
Again to yours: Maybe you could possibly have informed the opposite visitors that you just and your husband would assist organize transportation for them — both taking them dwelling yourselves or facilitating ride-shares or taxis.
Extra importantly, Miss Manners hopes that with time, you’ll understand that this rudeness was excessive and uncommon, and that you’ll attempt your hand at entertaining once more. It seems that you’re good at it.
She additionally hopes that your husband’s new job shouldn’t be equally fraught with chaos — or that his boss is sufficiently contrite that he will get one thing out of the dreadful expertise.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: If my neighbor has a yard sale, ought to I really feel obligated to buy one thing, even when I’ve no use for it?
Conversely, if I’ve a yard sale and a neighbor desires to buy one thing, ought to I inform them to simply take it, no cost?
GENTLE READER: Until your residential space has an uncommon outdoors draw, most of your clients are going to be neighbors. In the event you give issues away to them, it is going to be a Yard Donation, not a Sale.
Conversely, Miss Manners assures you that you’re not obligated to purchase something from them. However do your neighbors the favor of not losing their time by asking the origin and historical past of each single merchandise, considering it’s well mannered. That may simply be taunting them.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it impolite to take previous greens from the fridge, then come up behind somebody and place the greens below their nostril and ask if they need to be thrown out?
GENTLE READER: Impolite and doubtlessly hazardous — not only for the nostril, however for the nervous system after they scare you from behind.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
