DEAR MISS MANNERS: My spouse and I had been attending a university manufacturing of “HMS Pinafore.” A pupil was sitting immediately in entrance of me carrying a white baseball cap.
I might inform the hat was going to detract from my pleasure within the present, so I requested the younger man, “Would you mind removing your hat? It is a bit of a distraction.” He complied, and I totally loved the play.
The following day, my spouse knowledgeable me that she had been embarrassed by my conduct, that I used to be within the incorrect, and that carrying a hat within the state of affairs was routinely accepted in in the present day’s society.
Am I an incorrigible vintage, or was she proper?
GENTLE READER: An incorrigible vintage herself, Miss Manners agrees with you, and maintains that baseball hats shouldn’t be worn inside something apart from a stadium. The argument that it’s now routinely accepted doesn’t transfer her.
However the truth that the coed politely complied must be extra necessary than your spouse’s objection. If he was not upset or embarrassed, why ought to she be?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I invited my finest pal to a live performance greater than a month forward of the efficiency. She mentioned she must get again to me, because it falls on her sister’s birthday weekend.
Two weeks later, I nonetheless haven’t heard from her.
In the meantime, my 11-year-old son requested if he might attend with me. His father may even be there. I’d now somewhat deliver my son than my pal.
What’s one of the best ways to deal with this?
GENTLE READER: “I assumed that since I didn’t hear from you, you were unable to attend the concert. Marcus expressed an interest, so he will be coming with me. I hope to see you at another event soon.”
Miss Manners notes that this has the added benefit of alerting your pal that if she expects to attend the following occasion, she had higher act extra shortly.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: After I take my sons to the pediatrician or name to make an appointment, the receptionist or nurse at all times calls me Mother.
I give them my identify, however they by no means use it, and proceed to name me Mother.
I like being a mother, don’t get me incorrect. And I like my sons. However this drives me bananas. I’m not these folks’s mother!
Am I overreacting? If that’s the case, I’ll let it go.
I do understand that it most likely makes life simpler for the employees, and I hope I’m not being impolite by correcting them. Perhaps some folks like being known as Mother. However there’s one thing about it that feels just a little condescending, like I’m not a separate particular person from my youngsters.
GENTLE READER: “Which mother? I’m Mrs. Starwood.” (Or “Dr. Starwood,” if it applies and also you want to pull rank.)
If that doesn’t work — or is forgotten the very subsequent go to — Miss Manners lets you be irritated. However then she recommends you let it go.
For the needs of this go to, you’re an extension of the kid. And whereas these professionals might make a bit extra effort, you don’t want to squabble together with your youngster’s caregivers.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
