DEAR HARRIETTE: After the presidential election, I realized that my roommate and I don’t share political beliefs.
I’m unhappy now, and she or he is elated, and it’s actually exhausting to maneuver ahead.
We argue at any time when we discuss. Now we have such totally different opinions about our world and our politics. I really feel prefer it isn’t protected to be in my home as a result of the best way we predict is so totally different. After I come house, I would like to have the ability to calm down.
I wish to transfer out, however it may well’t occur for a couple of months. How can I take care of her till that point, and is it even price it to speak to her since now we have such totally different beliefs concerning the future?
— Political Variations
DEAR POLITICAL DIFFERENCES: I respect your conundrum, and I consider you may dwell by it.
The nice information about dwelling in the US is that we’re supposed to have the ability to comply with disagree. Regardless of how heated issues might turn into, we’re supposed to have the ability to dwell aspect by aspect with individuals who don’t share our views.
In observe, that may be robust.
Begin by mentioning the elephant within the room. Categorical your emotions of discomfort, and inform your roommate that you’re having a tough time grappling together with your totally different worldviews.
Ask her for those who can comply with preserve your conversations to impartial matters moderately than lighting on incendiary points. Agree to show the web page, so to talk, when an argument is starting.
It’s also possible to let her know your plans to maneuver out. In the course of the time that you must be there, comply with be civil with one another.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I dwell in a three-bedroom house in New York Metropolis with two roommates I discovered on-line. For essentially the most half, we’ve managed to get alongside effectively and coexist peacefully.
Nonetheless, a couple of months in the past, considered one of my roommates bought a canine, and whereas I used to be initially OK with it, the state of affairs spiraled uncontrolled shortly.
At first, I used to be enthusiastic about having a pet within the house. I’m a canine lover, and I didn’t suppose twice about welcoming the brand new addition. Sadly, it’s turn into clear that my roommate’s canine isn’t well-trained in any respect.
He recurrently has accidents contained in the house, which my roommate doesn’t at all times clear up immediately, leaving an disagreeable scent all through the widespread areas. To make issues worse, the canine has additionally been damaging. He’s chewed up a number of items of our furnishings in the lounge, together with the arm of our sofa and one of many espresso desk legs, to not point out clawing on the carpet.
My roommate hasn’t proven any curiosity in coaching the canine nor in contributing to exchange or restore the issues he’s destroyed.
How can I deal with this in a means that encourages my roommate to take accountability for her canine’s habits?
— Roommate Drama
DEAR ROOMMATE DRAMA: Create an inventory of considerations that you’ve, ideally for all roommates — together with your self. Name a gathering.
Deliver up your points, beginning with the simpler ones first, like kitchen and loo duties. Then transfer on to the canine and deal with these issues instantly. Recommend that your roommate practice her canine and clear up after it instantly — or else.
You and your different roommate — and doubtlessly your landlord — must put your collective foot right down to let this roommate know that there shall be penalties.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their goals. You may ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
