DEAR ABBY: I’m the mom of a 16-year-old lady, “Leia.” She has been dwelling with my mother and father since she was 10 as a result of that’s what she and my of us needed on the time.
I didn’t need her to, however I allowed it to occur as a result of I used to be having well being points. Leia selected to stay there as a result of my mother and father spoiled her rotten, they usually proceed to spoil and pamper her.
This has resulted in her turning into essentially the most self-centered, demanding, disrespectful individual my mother and father and I’ve ever seen, they usually now need her to dwell with me.
I predicted (to myself solely) that she’d prove this manner attributable to their “parenting.” My mother and father created an entitled teenager and now they count on me to endure the results of what they did. They guilt-trip me with their well being issues as a cause they need her to go away.
I don’t need her to come back right here. I don’t wish to need to cope with her perspective and attempt to stop her from working away.
I additionally don’t wish to lose my daughter perpetually as a result of they kicked her out, however she doesn’t like my guidelines. What recommendation do you may have?
— MOM OF A MONSTER
DEAR MOM: Your mother and father took your daughter in due to your well being points. You enabled their poor parenting to proceed by permitting your daughter to dwell with them and never talking up.
In the end, Leia is your accountability till she is eighteen, and presumably longer.
Your mother and father should now clarify to Leia that due to their poor well being, she will probably be staying with you. As a minor, this resolution will not be hers to make. (It shouldn’t have been within the first place.)
When she and her belongings arrive, clarify what your own home guidelines will probably be and the explanations for them. If she threatens to run away, level out that if that occurs, she might change into a ward of the state, and foster care may very well be much less nice than staying with the mom who loves her however doesn’t like who Leia has change into whereas dwelling with the grands.
DEAR ABBY: Two {couples} I do know are getting married quickly. Each {couples} plan on having small, intimate weddings within the close to future and bigger, grander weddings afterward. Every has their very own causes for doing so.
What’s the reward coverage when somebody holds two weddings? I’ve already bought one thing for one couple’s upcoming small marriage ceremony and can seemingly attend their massive one, however should I purchase them a present for that one as nicely? Or is one reward on the small marriage ceremony for every couple sufficient?
— EXCITED GUEST IN OHIO
DEAR GUEST: Marriage ceremony items are given in celebration of the marriage ceremony. What these buddies are scheduling is an “event” following their intimate marriage ceremony.
No rule of etiquette calls for that you just give the couple two separate items.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
