DEAR ABBY: My mother and stepdad (“Hugh”) are divorcing after 20 years of marriage.
Mother has been concerned with scammers for the final two years, gifting away cash and her Social Safety quantity. I now not discuss to her due to this. She truly anticipated me to drive her locations to fulfill these males and lend them her cash!
My stepdad and I began speaking so much about issues involving my mother. We textual content one another good morning and goodnight. Hugh doesn’t have kids, and my beginning father lives in one other state so I don’t see him typically.
The issue is, my husband is saying my relationship with Hugh is “weird,” and he’s feeling insecure. He says he thinks Hugh and I are attracted to one another.
I’m a caregiver by career, and I’m at all times there for individuals.
I informed Hugh how my husband feels, and now I really feel unhealthy about this example. Your ideas can be drastically appreciated.
— COMPLICATED IN CAROLINA
DEAR COMPLICATED: If you happen to worth your marriage, take a look at this out of your husband’s standpoint. Checking in each morning and each night time with the person your mom is divorcing is uncommon.
Nonetheless, if Hugh had a hand in elevating you, commiserating with you is comprehensible. In case your husband feels threatened, maybe Hugh can clarify it to him. Whether or not or not it allays his fears, it’s price a strive.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to an exquisite, clever and type man for a few years. We lately retired and are starting to take pleasure in our retirement years collectively.
Through the years, we now have labored by means of some powerful chapters, however we nonetheless share an exquisite bond and respect for one another.
The issue? We drink an excessive amount of.
Whereas I wish to take breaks collectively or focus as an alternative on wholesome actions, my husband adamantly denies he has an issue. He feels I ought to abstain once I really feel prefer it however, principally, do it on my own, as he has no real interest in forgoing alcohol — ever.
Nor will I ever have the ability to drag him into any type of remedy or counseling. His father was a famend therapist however a horrible father. My husband is cautious of remedy in any kind.
I’m simply undecided transfer ahead.
— MODERATION IN THE WEST
DEAR MODERATION: Right here’s how. Log on and scope out a few of the Al-Anon conferences in your space. (I’m positive you’ll discover fairly a couple of.) Attend a few of these conferences and meet the members who’re additionally concerned with alcohol-dependent companions. Once you do, you’ll understand that you’re not alone.
Denial is a part of the issue with individuals who have an habit downside. As a result of issues are usually not more likely to change, you might have to be taught to just accept your husband as he’s and discover others who will be part of you in wholesome actions.
DEAR READERS: On today that celebrates love, I need you to know the way a lot I worth the connection I’ve with you. Wishing you all a Glad Valentine’s Day! — WITH LOVE, ABBY
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
