DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m presently staying with a household good friend and her husband for a couple of days whereas visiting my hometown.
The husband clearly isn’t proud of me staying right here, so I’ve not interacted with him a lot.
On my second day right here, he requested my good friend for a divorce. Now I can hear them preventing, and the stress is insane.
Is it impolite if I simply keep away from him? Presently, our conversations are barely existent.
GENTLE READER: Presently? Your hosts are preventing to the purpose of divorce, and you might be sticking round, listening? And your solely query is the right way to take care of an ungracious host?
A visitor should even be gracious, even beneath extraordinary circumstances. The rule that applies right here is the one about occurring upon accidents: In case you can assist, leap in and accomplish that. If not, don’t gawk — transfer on.
Miss Manners wonders why you didn’t depart on your personal sake whenever you seen that the host was sad along with your being there, for no matter motive. Certainly the awkwardness and inconvenience you’ll have skilled would have been higher than being an unwelcome visitor.
What you would have stated to him and his spouse in your approach out was, “I wish you both well.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I reside in a condominium constructing that has numerous retired individuals in it.
I’ve been on the similar job for 20-plus years, so I’ve numerous trip days. I don’t typically take every week or two off at a time — extra typically only a time off right here and there.
My neighbors can’t get their heads round this. I’ve been repeatedly requested, “Oh, don’t you work every day? Do you have Fridays off? Why aren’t you at work?”
It actually burns me, as they’re implying I’m doing one thing mistaken and that my schedule is their enterprise.
A lot of the old-timers have left since I moved right here, however there are nonetheless a couple of older busybodies round. They appear to endure from “groupthink” and an inclination to intervene with others. Additionally, they’re so oblivious. It goes proper over their heads that they could be bothering individuals with questions like this.
Goodness, if I did have a illness or some type of private motive for being residence, I wouldn’t essentially need them to know that!
Typically I even go down the stairwell and take completely different routes to keep away from operating into these individuals.
GENTLE READER: Have these individuals not heard about distant work?
Not that Miss Manners believes that listening to that rationalization — or every other — would discourage a decided busybody. Sadly, they’re simply after a little bit of dialog.
Which doesn’t imply that you simply want present it. Ignore the questions, name out a cheery greeting — “Hi, Mrs. Erskine!” “Nice day, Mr. Lumpkin!” — and maintain shifting.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
