DEAR ABBY: I’ve been in a relationship with a person for the final 5 years.
“Julian” got here into my life after my husband handed. He’s 65; I’m 45.
Julian has two grown daughters, 36 and 27. The older one and I get alongside famously. The youthful, Amber, is considerably immature.
She has two small youngsters, and she or he’s her dad’s good, valuable, can-do-no-wrong daughter. The unvarnished reality is that Amber is a snotty, judgmental lady who thinks she’s higher than everybody.
As a result of Julian wasn’t there whereas she was rising up, his guilt makes it particularly laborious for him to see her for who she is.
Amber and I don’t take care of one another, and the cracks are beginning to present. She is turning into a bone of competition within the relationship as a result of I can’t stand how she makes use of guilt to control her dad. He was all the time a caring father and a very good supplier, if not all the time there bodily.
I’m at my wits’ finish. She is driving a wedge into an in any other case good relationship.
Once I attempt talking with Julian, he’ll hear nothing towards her. I get that it’s his child, however I’m sick of her. The worst half is when she performs it off like she is harmless and ideal. Any recommendation?
— HAD IT IN THE WEST
DEAR HAD IT: Sure, I do have some. As you said, in Julian’s eyes, his “little girl” is ideal and valuable.
You aren’t going to win this battle, so begin backing off and discover a new course — or a brand new boyfriend. Please settle for my sympathy.
DEAR ABBY: After I retired and moved to a seashore city, I invited my brother and sister-in-law to go to. They mentioned they’d a extremely good time, arrange a tentative return go to and appeared appreciative.
I’m used to dwelling alone, so having individuals all the time round was uncomfortable for me.
My brother can be retired however works half time. Considered one of his jobs is with the corporate of a pal of mine the place he had accomplished some work previously. I reconnected them, and my brother actually enjoys it. Now he’s pressuring me to ask that pal and his spouse to return right here and keep at my place.
I believe it’s out of line for anybody to recommend I invite anybody else to remain right here. I wouldn’t have invited my brother and sister-in-law besides that he’s household. (He truly will get on my nerves after I’m round him for lengthy.)
I ignored his suggestion and can proceed until he brings it up once more. Is a nonresponse acceptable?
— HESITANT HOST IN TEXAS
DEAR HOST: A nonresponse is a robust “hint” that somebody shouldn’t be receptive to a request or a suggestion. In case your brother raises the topic once more, nevertheless, you’ll have to make it plain that you’re not open to having anybody outdoors your fast household keep in your house with you.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
