DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Leon,” and I’ve been collectively for 13 years. He’s bisexual — gay-leaning. I knew this once we acquired collectively.
I’m 51, and Leon is 32. Now we have an 11-year-old daughter collectively, and I’ve two grown children from a earlier marriage.
We nonetheless love one another deeply, however he’s additionally in a relationship with a person. His boyfriend is 21.
I used to be all the time OK with Leon having mates with advantages. However this new relationship has me feeling misplaced and confused. I don’t need our marriage to be ruined due to his relationship with this man, and I’m afraid it’d nicely occur.
After having been married for thus lengthy, it seems like my finest good friend is being ripped from me additionally. Now we have been by way of lots collectively. This tidal wave of feelings is getting the higher of me.
Please assist. I don’t know what to do.
— LOSING HOPE IN IDAHO
DEAR LOSING HOPE: While you married Leon, you probably did it understanding it will be an open marriage. Neither you nor your husband took into consideration that he may meet somebody he may fall deeply in love with.
Below the circumstances, your emotions are comprehensible. {Couples} counseling might enable you to regulate to the brand new actuality, and I heartily suggest it. Your physician ought to be capable of refer you.
DEAR ABBY: I’m damage and angered by the shunning I’m experiencing from my household as a result of they disapprove of my incarcerated fiance.
I’m in my 60s, and I’ve labored for 20 years as a counselor in greater training. I’m engaged to an exquisite man who’s serving a life sentence within the South.
Now we have been writing and speaking through cellphone and video for greater than two years. We not too long ago had our first go to. We love one another very a lot.
I simply moved to his state so we are able to go to each month and so I might be near his household.
My household has now blocked me on social media, on the cellphone and on e-mail. Earlier than they did it, they instructed me I’m mentally disturbed and stated they need nothing extra to do with me.
I’ve tried a number of instances to increase an olive department, however they ignore me. Is there something I can do to reconnect?
— SHUNNED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR SHUNNED: Your relations might really feel the best way they do as a result of they’re involved for you, or the crime for which your fiance was imprisoned frightens them for their very own security ought to he be launched sometime.
Is he eligible for parole, or will your relationship proceed to be a once-a-month go to in perpetuity?
You look like an informed, caring particular person. However don’t rely on reuniting with your loved ones — at this level, their minds look like made up.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
