DEAR HARRIETTE: My 4-year-old son completely hates going to day care. Each morning is a battle.
He cries the second he realizes it’s time to go and clings to me when I attempt to drop him off. It’s not only a passing section or a bit separation anxiousness; this has been happening for months, and nothing we do appears to assist.
My husband and I’ve tried every thing we are able to consider. We’ve had conversations with the day care academics, tried to create optimistic associations and even switched to a distinct day care heart, hoping a brand new surroundings would possibly make a distinction.
Sadly, the identical factor occurred. Irrespective of the place we go, the response is similar.
The tough half is that we don’t have another choice. Each my husband and I have to work full-time jobs in an effort to keep financially steady, and we don’t have close by household who can step in to assist with baby care.
I really feel responsible each time I go away him crying, and it’s beginning to take a toll on each of us emotionally.
Do you’ve gotten any recommendation for the way we are able to make this transition simpler for him or tips on how to know if this simply isn’t the correct of surroundings for our baby?
— Day Care Woes
DEAR DAY CARE WOES: I’ve two concepts. First, clarify to your baby that his work is day care, identical to your work is no matter it’s. Take him to your job at some point, and present him the place you sit and what you do. Then go to his day care and spend the day with him and have him present you what he does. Every day after that, you may want one another day at work and assessment your day while you come residence.
My second suggestion is to get a baby psychologist to work together with your son to assist unpack no matter insecurities he’s experiencing and doubtlessly redirect or neutralize his fears.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I really feel just like the go-to individual in my life. Pals, household and colleagues know to ask me for favors as a result of I’m keen to assist or am more likely to say sure.
My query is: When can I anticipate the identical?
I used to suppose I did it as a result of I loved serving to individuals, however recently it feels rather a lot much less gratifying and extra like I’ve develop into a lackey. I battle to say no, to depart conversations or locations that don’t serve me, to set boundaries that protect my peace and power. I’m starting to really feel taken benefit of by family members.
At a bunch occasion a few weeks in the past, I overheard a buddy of mine telling those that I might be serving to them construct out numerous facets of their enterprise — one thing we’ve by no means mentioned. Once I questioned them about it, they stated they only figured I’d be keen.
How did I get right here?
— Too Useful
DEAR TOO HELPFUL: You bought there by at all times saying sure. Now it’s time to cease.
When individuals ask you to do one thing you do not need to or have time to do, say no.
It could be onerous at first, however you are able to do it. That’s a lot more healthy than being overburdened or resentful.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their goals. You possibly can ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
