DEAR ABBY: I not too long ago turned 30, and I discover myself in type of a “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” scenario — particularly the scene the place Toula’s father has invited a number of Greek males to dinner to attempt to persuade her to marry one among them.
I advised my father I’m not involved in courting, however he and his boss preserve telling me about single Romanian males of their 30s, and Dad desires me to “get married and make babies.”
How do I politely inform him I’m happier and more healthy as a single girl, versus being married and a mom after I know for certain I don’t need to be one?
For the final 10 years, I’ve helped out with my twin nephews. I’m their major babysitter/nanny. I attempt to reply my nephews’ questions on life inside their dad and mom’ worldviews, and I clear each my brother’s and my nephews’ mom’s flats.
My determination to stay single and childless hasn’t been determined evenly. How can I politely inform my father that I don’t need to date anybody, even when a few of them are very good guys?
— ROMANIAN CAT LADY
DEAR LADY: On the age of 30, it’s best to be capable of make up your individual thoughts about what you desire to your future to be, with out arm-twisting or “help” out of your father.
How about telling him in plain English (or Romanian) precisely what you will have advised me? From the place I sit, for the final 10 years you will have been subjected to an extra-large dose of parenting and housekeeping. If that “taste” isn’t for you, converse up and say so.
You didn’t point out what your residing scenario is, however if you’re nonetheless residing below your dad and mom’ roof, acknowledge it’s time to determine your independence and transfer out by yourself.
DEAR ABBY: A member of the family moved right here from out of state for work and is staying with us. Sadly, a number of weeks after their massive transfer, my partner had a stroke. He’s now house from the hospital.
We had already supplied this member of the family free room and board to assist with the transition to their new job, however I by no means dreamed a medical emergency would occur.
I need to take pleasure in my life with my partner in non-public with out houseguest stress.
I would love the member of the family to promote their previous house and get an condo or purchase one other house near their new job quickly.
Any solutions on easy methods to pace up the transfer with out inflicting rigidity within the household? How do I set a move-out deadline?
— SEEKING A SOLUTION IN THE WEST
DEAR SEEKING: Due to the change in your partner’s well being standing, your want for privateness is comprehensible.
Have a chat along with your member of the family. Clarify that circumstances have modified because you issued the invitation to stick with you, and ask whether or not this particular person’s job is meant to be a everlasting one.
Whether it is everlasting fairly than short-term, it wouldn’t be nervy to suggest promoting their home to purchase one close by.
If it isn’t everlasting, then renting an condo would make sense. Provide to assist your relative discover one.
The dialog needn’t be confrontational and shouldn’t trigger rigidity. The 2 of it’s best to be capable of agree on a deadline to maneuver.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
