DEAR ABBY: I’m 58 and 5 years into my second marriage.
We lived collectively just a little over a yr earlier than getting married. At that time, I had spent seven years as a caregiver for my mother and father.
We moved to Kentucky from Florida as a result of his mother wanted us shut, however because the transfer, he has turn out to be somebody I hardly know.
We lastly obtained his extreme despair below management, however he has turn out to be petty and vindictive. He’s form of a bully. He watches nothing however conspiracy concept movies on YouTube. I don’t know what to do. He wasn’t that manner after we dated.
I have to rebuild my credit score after the previous couple of years and lower your expenses. I’m placing most of my paycheck right into a separate account, and I used to be planning on leaving in a few years, however it has gotten just a little higher since he’s on the fitting meds.
Nonetheless, it’s actually exhausting to maneuver previous these previous few horrible years. He expects me to care for his mother, who deserted him as a toddler. I don’t wish to. I actually dislike her.
Am I incorrect to nonetheless be pondering of leaving?
— STUCK NOWHERE
DEAR STUCK: Your husband could have married you so he’d have somebody to care for his mom. You paid your dues for seven years with your individual mother and father.
Remind your husband that you simply moved to Kentucky so he, not you, may care for his mother, and you’ll not permit him to foist her off on you.
Hold salting your cash away, and when you’ve gotten sufficient to make a brand new begin, resolve then whether or not you wish to transfer on.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 20-something homosexual male who was seeing a man in his 50s who lives a pair hours away.
For nearly two months, we spoke practically day-after-day and noticed one another as time allowed. I assumed we had nice chemistry, and I held him in excessive regard. (He even launched me to your column.)
Out of nowhere, he’s saying he feels solely friendship for me and that we aren’t in the identical place emotionally. It’s a complete intestine punch.
I really feel like I did or mentioned one thing incorrect, however I don’t know what it’s, so I’m blaming myself. I replay all our conversations and dates in my head, looking for the place I went incorrect.
How do I break this cycle? And the way can I permit myself to belief different males — particularly older males — once I really feel so burned by my interplay with Mr. Fifties?
— TWENTY-SOMETHING IN TENNESSEE
DEAR TWENTY-SOMETHING: Please cease being so exhausting on your self. One thing absolutely occurred. Perhaps the chemistry between the 2 of you wasn’t as sturdy as you thought it was. It’s additionally doable that he met somebody and didn’t have the braveness to be trustworthy about it.
No matter his purpose, you haven’t any selection however to simply accept that the 2 of you weren’t in the identical place emotionally. It’s time to maneuver on with out assuming that each one older males are the identical.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
