DEAR MISS MANNERS: Over Thanksgiving, a relative introduced a recovering alcoholic (a number of years sober) as a visitor. He introduced a bottle of grape juice as his beverage for the night, in lieu of wine.
As we have been serving drinks, my partner and I debated how you can serve the juice: in a wine glass, or in a stemless ingesting vessel? I felt the wine glass was extra acceptable to assist the visitor slot in with those that have been ingesting wine, however my partner apprehensive that the alcohol-related stemware could be a set off of kinds.
My analysis since then has turned up no counsel. Since I anticipate we’ll see this visitor once more round Christmastime, we might use some recommendation!
GENTLE READER: Your partner has remarkably little religion on this visitor in the event that they suppose a number of years of sobriety shall be undone by the improper selection of glass for his or her grape juice.
Not ingesting alcohol — for no matter purpose — tends to set off rudeness in individuals who do drink. They attempt to tease or bully the abstainer into ingesting, or they ask a variety of nosy questions, as if alcohol have been the workers of life. Maybe some take into account it as such.
If you wish to spare a nondrinking visitor the opportunity of such embarrassment, Miss Manners suggests that you simply not draw consideration to who’s ingesting what by issuing a particular glass.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: For the previous 4 years, my spouse and I’ve hosted a New Yr’s Eve household occasion at our dwelling.
Adults occupy the upstairs, and kids (roughly ages 8-13) get pleasure from themselves within the basement, with frequent parental supervision.
The occasion now attracts practically 100 adults and kids. Everybody tells us they’ve a good time and so they admire not having to sit down at dwelling.
Beginning final yr, although, most of the dad and mom of our older daughter’s mates (she is 12) determined to drop their youngsters off and exit for the night, moderately than becoming a member of the occasion themselves, as that they had carried out every year prior. So, we now have ended up offering free babysitting for about 20 tweens, which could be fairly a problem.
We really feel we’re being taken benefit of, however we don’t need our youngsters to overlook out on the enjoyable with their mates, and we really benefit from the time we spent with their dad and mom.
How can we politely inform those that we anticipate they’ll keep on the occasion with their youngsters, moderately than utilizing us to avoid wasting $100 or extra on babysitting charges for the night?
GENTLE READER: Who has been doing the parental supervision of this basement full of youngsters? You? Miss Manners will give you some assist, though — sorry! — she doesn’t plan to be in your basement on New Yr’s Eve.
Earlier than the occasion, make and distribute a schedule for fogeys to take turns checking in on the kids. Those that have left early prior to now — and even dropped off their youngsters and fled — must be assigned slots close to midnight.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
