DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been in contact with somebody on-line for the previous two years.
We each have the identical bodily situation, however he’s extra outgoing and has a full social life, whereas I’m the other.
I’ve began attending occasions on the group the place he works to get assist for my wants, however we’ve by no means launched ourselves in individual. I’ve anxiousness and codependency points, which I instructed him in a direct message when he stated to let him know once I wished to fulfill with him.
I received too nervous to introduce myself the opposite day on the workplace, and I don’t go once more till subsequent week, although there could also be occasions arising within the subsequent few days that he could attend. I don’t wish to pester him or drive him away, however I don’t know learn how to provoke something.
I’ve by no means shaped a relationship alone in my life; I’ve made mates in class and thru household, by no means organically.
This individual is there for everybody else, however will he be there for me?
I’m afraid of dying alone and having to plan for a public funeral as a result of I’m higher with cats than individuals. I’ve been late at issues all my life. How do I strategy him with out being needy or resorting to drink?
— Lone Wolf
DEAR LONE WOLF: Take a deep breath and settle down.
Don’t place all your feelings at this man’s toes — that may be off-putting. As a substitute, begin by telling your self that you simply wish to meet him in individual as your first step.
Invite him to fulfill you. Agree on one thing easy, like grabbing tea or ice cream: one thing noncommittal that permits you to sit and discuss for a couple of minutes. Don’t go in with an agenda or fearful ideas about your finish of life. Simply be current. Discuss issues you have got mentioned over the time you have got been speaking on-line.
Don’t enable your self to attract conclusions. Determine that you’ll benefit from the second. Then see what occurs.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Regarding your recommendation to “Cooking Anxiety” — once I left my childhood house, I knew solely learn how to make my mom’s meatloaf, open a can of baked beans and bake a potato. This was even the dinner I served to dates.
I branched out on my restricted finances by making an attempt totally different meatloaf recipes, then hen. My love of overseas meals has made me attempt new recipes as I grew extra assured, and at the moment I’m identified amongst my circle of mates as an awesome cook dinner — although I nonetheless learn recipes to get new concepts.
It’s shocking what number of good recipes are easy. I attempt to hold it manageable. If I’ve a extra sophisticated recipe, I’ll pair it with one thing easy that may be made forward.
Most individuals are delighted to be invited to dinner and aren’t conscious when one thing isn’t excellent. So your recommendation to “Cooking Anxiety” to start out small was on level.
— Good Prepare dinner Immediately
DEAR GOOD COOK TODAY: One small step at a time and a willingness to be taught: the magic components!
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You may ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
