DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m in a daily strolling group the place I’ve grow to be buddies with a couple of third of the walkers. The remaining I’m well mannered with however contemplate them acquaintances solely.
I host an annual social gathering at my residence for my buddies. I ship out non-public electronic mail invites and don’t focus on the occasion in the course of the walks.
One of many walkers, a fairly clingy individual whom I contemplate solely an acquaintance, advised me she heard I used to be having a celebration, and invited herself. I couldn’t say no. She’s a good individual, however we now have nothing in widespread.
What can I say sooner or later to keep away from accepting self-inviting social gathering crashers?
GENTLE READER: Deal with it as you’d a marriage: “It’s only a small group this year, but I look forward to catching up with you on our walks.”
Miss Manners suggests you additionally remind your invited buddies to not problem unauthorized invites or promote the social gathering on these walks.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve a co-worker who sneezes rather a lot. When she does, somebody is at all times fast to say “God bless you!”
I didn’t develop up being taught to say this, or anything, when somebody sneezes. So when she and I are alone and she or he sneezes, I say nothing.
Am I being impolite?
GENTLE READER: Your co-worker little question thinks so.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m searching for your recommendation on tips on how to deal with a recurring problem: individuals profiting from my kindness and my cooking expertise.
Whereas I perceive that not everyone seems to be comfy cooking, I imagine they may nonetheless provide to assist with different kitchen duties. Sadly, some do nothing in any respect and easily benefit from the meals I’ve purchased and ready at any time when they’re over, extending their keep into lunch or dinner.
How can I kindly ask them to contribute, both by cooking their very own meals or serving to out in another method, with out making issues awkward?
GENTLE READER: Forgive Miss Manners, however isn’t “doing nothing at all and simply enjoying the food you’ve bought and prepared” known as hospitality?
She has so many letters begging visitors to not meddle within the kitchen that she is confused at your wanting them to prepare dinner their very own meals in yours.
She does agree that inviting oneself to lunch or dinner afterward is an overstep. To that, you could politely say, “I am afraid I have other plans for those meals” — even when these plans embody cleansing up the mess they created from consuming a lot of your meals.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My aunt gave me a beneficiant reward, and I wrote her a letter in thanks. She stated she beloved my letter and hopes I’ll write her once more this fall.
Ought to I dutifully ship one other letter, or is there a method I can recommend that writing me again may improve the standard and amount of my letters to her?
GENTLE READER: You would assist immediate her by writing a letter that asks a whole lot of questions and concludes with, “I do so look forward to receiving your answers.” Then, Miss Manners assures you, it will likely be clear that it’s her flip.
True, it commits you to an ongoing correspondence — however one with a gracious and beneficiant aunt.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
