DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had invited a gaggle of family and friends to my residence for Christmas dinner and a celebration: six adults and two younger kids.
The issue was with one visitor, who had been bedridden with a extreme flu the complete week main as much as Christmas.
I stored in contact with this particular person all through her sickness. On Christmas Day, she insisted that she was 100% cured, however she nonetheless sounded sick and congested over the cellphone.
I felt the necessity to shield myself, in addition to my weak, ageing company. I suggested her to remain residence and maintain herself, including that we might get collectively the next week, when she was higher.
That is the place issues went awry. My sick pal took nice offense to this un-invitation and bombarded me with nasty texts and insults.
I continued to be respectful; nonetheless, the nastiness continued.
I’ve now blocked all texts and communications. Friendship over.
Was I incorrect for attempting to guard myself and my company from potential sickness?
GENTLE READER: It is dependent upon the way you phrased it.
The proper order is to lavish sympathy in your poor, sick pal, adopted by appreciation for her willingness to sacrifice herself in order to not throw off your social gathering. That is adopted by a promise to do one thing particular when she is properly.
By your account, you appear to have completed all of that. Miss Manners simply needs to just remember to didn’t overdo the Typhoid Mary method of, “Don’t you come breathing your germs on us.”
The priority proven by such an method could also be warranted, however it’s not properly acquired by the individuals with the germs. Nonetheless, it will not excuse your former pal’s excessive response.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be swamped by charitable solicitations within the mail this Christmas.
A substantial amount of time, effort and cash went into these missives. But after I donate to a few of these organizations, it’s a very long time — if ever — earlier than I get an acknowledgment. Typically I’ve to request a receipt, only for tax functions.
Apart from the apparent courtesy of acknowledging a donation, such recognition may encourage the donor to make a repeat present. In any other case, previous donors could not donate once more.
The dearth of courtesy has brought on me to take away a number of organizations from my “approved” checklist. Hopefully these remarks will encourage extra acknowledgments.
GENTLE READER: Did your family members all write you letters of thanks for the presents you despatched them?
It’s possible you’ll make sure that Miss Manners shouldn’t be bringing that as much as recommend that expressions of gratitude are not needed. Solely that they’re in brief provide — even from people who find themselves indignant in the event that they don’t get favorable acknowledgments of the {photograph} of their lunch that they posted.
Charities are very shortsighted to neglect this, or to dilute the thanks by coupling it with new requests. Miss Manners is conscious that you’re not the one donor prompted by this to offer elsewhere.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
