DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to my husband for 30 years. For the previous 5 years, I’ve observed that he’s performing a little bit completely different.
He’s misplaced a number of weight. I came upon he’s been smoking medication. He had this downside years in the past, and I believed we had it beat. However now I’m getting the impression that perhaps you’ll be able to’t ever beat it.
My daughter gave me a tracker for my birthday. I put it in his automotive to see the place he went, and it confirmed that he went to an condominium constructing and was there for nearly an hour. I don’t know who lives in that constructing, and I’ve by no means been there.
I think that he’s dishonest on me. I can’t consider one more reason he could be in an condominium constructing in a extremely unhealthy space if there wasn’t one thing protecting him there.
After I requested him the place he was, he stated, “Why are you asking me so many questions?”
I do know my husband lies to me. I’m at my wits’ finish and don’t know what to do.
I do know it is going to be actually laborious to depart if that’s what I select to do, however I suppose I’ve no different selection.
After I prompt marriage counseling, he refused. I instructed him he wanted to do drug counseling. He stated he doesn’t have an issue. Clearly, he does have an issue. I instructed him he’s too previous for this.
What do you suppose I ought to do?
— SUSPICIOUS IN MICHIGAN
DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Earlier than doing the rest, it is vital you shield your self. Speak to your physician about being checked for STDs.
Then inform your husband in regards to the tracker and ask him to clarify in regards to the time he’s spent at that condominium constructing. Was he with one other girl? His drug vendor? (If it’s a girl, does he plan to proceed seeing her?)
Relying upon the solutions he provides you and whether or not you’ll be able to consider them, it’s possible you’ll need to speak to an lawyer to find out the way you need to proceed.
DEAR ABBY: My 95-year-old mom has been wholesome till lately. She’s in an unbiased residing facility and is glad there.
I’m the first caretaker for her medical wants as her coronary heart has weakened, and she or he’s now beneath palliative care.
My sister “Julie,” who lives out of state, has determined to put a digicam in Mother’s residence and monitor and file her day and night time. Though Mother doesn’t thoughts the digicam, it makes me uncomfortable to be always watched and monitored whereas visiting and aiding her.
Julie will get indignant if I cowl the digicam whereas I’m there. After I take away the quilt, I hear the digicam zoom across the room and deal with us.
Am I flawed to need privateness throughout my visits with my mom?
— CAMERA-SHY IN COLORADO
DEAR CAMERA-SHY: The purpose of the digicam is when your mom is alone somebody can regulate her. If you’re there, there needs to be no want for the digicam.
I’ll assume you’ve instructed your sister you don’t need your visits monitored, and she or he persists in doing it anyway. Be happy to cowl it when you are there, however don’t overlook to uncover it whenever you go away.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
