DEAR MISS MANNERS: What precisely are the principles for saving seats at an off-the-cuff occasion the place seats usually are not assigned?
Once I was invited to my nephew’s martial arts presentation, I arrived half an hour early to save lots of seats for my household of 5 (three of us have been current) as a result of the others have been coming from work and couldn’t arrive early.
A lady got here and sat in one of many saved seats, although my jacket was on the seat, and I politely informed her that it was reserved.
There was no admission charge for the occasion, and there have been loads of different seats accessible, though admittedly my saved seats had a greater view, which is why I arrived early.
The girl refused to maneuver and passive-aggressively had her teenage sons come and sit subsequent to her and principally half-sit on my lap.
I ended up shifting as a result of I used to be uncomfortable and needed to stand within the again and miss the motion and alternative to take images. It actually ruined my night time. Was I unsuitable to imagine I might save the seats?
GENTLE READER: It’s when entire entrance rows are saved on the center faculty play that Miss Manners declares rudeness.
Her made-up however reasonable-sounding rule is that this: No multiple seat saved per individual already seated. So your scenario certified.
However simply without spending a dime, she gives you one other tip: Save seats in between the three of you, as a substitute of on the finish (i.e., individual, empty seat, individual, empty seat, individual). Others will likely be much less prone to need to climb in between and sit subsequent to strangers.
Then, when the remainder of your social gathering will get there, transfer over.
It helps if copious quantities of baggage and coats are piled up on the empty seats — and makes it extra convincing that those that are absent are simply within the toilet.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be in a espresso store with my partner when a few neighbors entered. They approached us and mentioned hiya.
I might have favored for them to have joined us as a result of we sometimes cat-sit for one another, and I need to stay on good phrases with them. Additionally, I used to be feeling social. However I didn’t know tips on how to phrase the invitation.
“Would you like to join us?” appears to go away them no great way out if they don’t occur to really feel like socializing.
Does Miss Manners have any suggestion concerning tips on how to proceed in such circumstances?
GENTLE READER: “We would love to have you join us” has a delicate distinction to it. Since it’s a assertion and never a query, your neighbors have choices, together with answering with out answering.
They might 1. settle for, 2. say, “Thank you, but we have a pressing matter to discuss, and we don’t want to bore you” or, much less desirably, 3. say “Thank you,” go get their espresso and simply by no means return.
Miss Manners hopes on your sake that in the event that they select the third, it’s not additionally how they strategy sitting your cat.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
