I have strong opinions about the bride’s demands

Dear Amy: We have close friends whose daughter is getting married in Italy.

We will be traveling to the wedding, but my husband and I thought about it for a while before responding because, first of all, it’s not the easiest part of Italy to get to.

We have to make a stopover, change flights, book the hotel, and rent a car to drive down to the wedding because there is no transportation from the airport.

I believe this girl is being a bit selfish, just to be able to say that she got married in Italy. Many from her mother’s side of the family can’t make the trip.

Why have a wedding if your family can’t be there?

I read that if the couple decides to have a destination wedding, your gift is your presence because of the added expense imposed on you.

Do you agree?

– Disgruntled Guest

Dear Disgruntled: Why have a wedding in Italy if your family can’t be there? Well, not having family there is precisely why some couples choose to have destination weddings.

Marrying couples are using the expense and distance as a way to make sure that they won’t have to deal with Aunt Gladys and her pickleball obsession, Cousin Steve who is just out of rehab, or Grandma Jane and her pesky need to use a walker.

Overall, this trend reflects a changing attitude toward weddings – that they are not sacred celebrations bringing two families together, but photo-ops with spectacular backdrops.

Yes, your gift is your presence. It would have been kindest for the couple to state this.

Dear Amy: What is the right way to put a friendship on pause?

I have known “Lara” for many years. We don’t have a lot in common and it can be trying to spend time with her – she monopolizes conversations, tells inappropriate stories and can be extremely negative.

However, she was very persistent about befriending me, so I saw her casually and also spent many hours supporting her after a job loss a decade ago.

While she has now stabilized, she never returned to her prior career and remains very angry.