DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel my good friend “Rica” and I each love the identical man.
She has recognized him since highschool, so that they have a historical past collectively. I can see he has emotions for Rica, and I imagine she’s solely pretending to not like him due to me.
It’s painful watching the 2 of them maintain again, figuring out they is likely to be happier if I stepped apart, but I can’t deny my very own emotions for him — they run deep.
I ponder if holding on to him is egocentric, or if my love might imply one thing to him, too. Ought to I allow them to be collectively, or ought to I struggle for my love for him?
— Bittersweet Dilemma
DEAR BITTERSWEET DILEMMA: Why not discuss on to the person?
Be upfront with him about your emotions and your observations. Inform him that you simply imagine there might be a future for the 2 of you, however it’s apparent that Rica cares deeply for him, too. Ask him what he needs.
Be clear that you’re not keen to share, however you might be keen to step apart if he chooses her. Make your determination after you examine in with him.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I do know that devices are related at present, however they are often dangerous to our well being, particularly for our children. I’m making an attempt to determine how one can stability this by giving my 4-year-old daughter only one hour of display screen time every day.
Nonetheless, she typically exceeds this restrict as a result of I get busy and don’t monitor her utilization as intently as I ought to. Not too long ago, she had a tantrum after I took away her pill.
To create a more healthy stability for her, might I set up a constant every day routine that features set instances for display screen use, alongside participating nonscreen actions like out of doors play or crafts? What different methods would you counsel to restrict display screen time successfully?
— Digital Distractions
DEAR DIGITAL DISTRACTIONS: It takes self-discipline in your facet to implement wholesome display screen use to your baby. The excellent news is that you would be able to have interaction the system to assist you.
Many sensible gadgets have built-in controls that may restrict the period of time they’re operable, no matter whether or not you might be watching your daughter.
You possibly can inform your daughter that she has half-hour or an hour to play on the system, after which it’s going to robotically shut off. If she sees that the system stops working with out your intervention, it might be more durable for her to maintain up her tantrum as you don’t appear to be immediately controlling it.
Extra vital, let her know that there are occasions to make use of the gadgets and instances when she has to do one thing else. Hold video games, books and different participating supplies useful in order that she at all times has one thing to do.
Know that there are fairly just a few apps that may show you how to to handle your baby’s display screen time, together with bark.us and quostodio.com. There are additionally printouts that you would be able to submit that can assist you and your baby handle her display screen time collectively.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their goals. You possibly can ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
