DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for 52 years.
Whereas on the lookout for a tax doc, I discovered a manila envelope that had a notice written on the surface. It mentioned, “If something happens to me, please destroy this, because I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
I opened the envelope and located nude footage of my husband and one other girl taken 30 years in the past.
Once I confronted my husband, he mentioned it occurred a very long time in the past and it’s my fault for opening the envelope.
I by no means acquired an apology, and I now not need to be intimate with him. I would like recommendation on the right way to get previous this.
— PHOTO-FINISHED IN GEORGIA
DEAR PHOTO-FINISHED: That your husband wouldn’t provide an apology solely provides insult to damage. What a idiot.
He left a “time bomb” and didn’t have sufficient frequent sense to think about what would occur if, after his demise, you or your kids sifted by way of his souvenirs.
Since you need to get previous this, it’s time to seek the advice of a licensed marriage and household therapist. In case your husband refuses to go along with you, go alone — or pray for amnesia.
DEAR ABBY: I used to be out to dinner this night. A father and his two sons (10 and 6) have been seated on the desk subsequent to ours.
As quickly as they sat down, the daddy started berating the 10-year-old’s efficiency at a sporting occasion. He known as him “worthless” and a “piece of dog sh-t.” It continued all through all the meal.
I felt dangerous for the boy and was horrified on the approach his father was treating him. I wished to take the daddy apart however didn’t know if it will make him abuse his son much more.
What recommendation do you have got for conditions like this?
— SITTING BY IN COLORADO
DEAR SITTING BY: It’s counterproductive when dad and mom develop into overly concerned of their kids’s sports activities actions. Clearly, the general public shaming this father was giving the boy wasn’t useful encouragement.
That mentioned, you have been smart to stay silent for the explanation you acknowledged. If you happen to had tried to intervene, it will have embarrassed the abuser, and it may need made issues worse for the boy.
DEAR ABBY: “Debbie” and I’ve recognized one another for 15 years. Our kids grew up collectively, and now we have participated in numerous actions collectively. She helped me by way of a troublesome divorce and has all the time been there for me.
Debbie determined a couple of yr in the past that we may now not be buddies attributable to our completely different political beliefs. She despatched a textual content out of the blue saying it.
I used to be devastated. I’ve tried to contact her, however she has blocked my quantity.
In all of the years Debbie and I’ve recognized one another, we by no means mentioned politics. Since she blocked my quantity, I’ve considered writing to her or dropping by her home to see if we will get previous this.
What do you assume I ought to do, if something?
— LOST MY BEST FRIEND
DEAR LOST: I’m sorry on your loss. What I believe is that the subsequent transfer ought to be Debbie’s. What she did was merciless. Except you want to court docket extra judgment and rejection, hold your distance.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
