DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been married lower than a yr, and I’m pregnant with my first baby. Our child was deliberate, and we have been thrilled.
One thing modified with my husband as soon as I hit the second trimester.
If I learn one thing about being pregnant and attempt to share it with him, he immediately shuts me down, saying I shouldn’t imagine all the things I learn or that I’m losing my time. He doesn’t need to arrange something within the nursery, both. He retains saying we don’t must do it till a month earlier than the newborn is due.
I’m making an attempt to be affected person and understanding, however associates have now taken a step again from speaking to me and I’m feeling very remoted.
The opposite evening, my husband put me down at dinner with associates. One in every of them mentioned being pregnant was probably the most egocentric factor a girl might do, and my husband agreed! I’m nonetheless harm by the remark.
Whereas the particular person apologized for saying it and additional defined their place on the topic (everybody had been ingesting, besides me), my husband hasn’t apologized. He refuses and says I’m idiotic for being so upset about it.
I’m at a loss right here. We deliberate for this child, and I believed it might deliver us even nearer. Now I really feel extremely alone and unhappy.
Why would anybody say one thing so merciless, and why would my husband agree as an alternative of being on my facet?
— EXPECTING MORE IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR EXPECTING: Being pregnant is an thrilling and difficult expertise for all involved, and your feelings could also be heightened.
Though your husband was initially enthusiastic concerning the concept of beginning a household immediately, it’s potential that in this second trimester he acknowledged the truth of the tasks that include parenthood. Additionally it is potential that, due to your pleasure about your being pregnant, it has grow to be your most important matter of dialog, which can be why your pals have stepped again.
The comment that was made the night the 2 of you have been with associates was possible fueled by an excessive amount of alcohol and never sufficient logic. Your husband might have agreed as a result of he feels jealous that your physique has been “co-opted” by the newborn. Not figuring out him, I can’t guess at why he continues to refuse to apologize for it.
It appears to me you’ll really feel much less remoted when you discovered an older, extra skilled feminine buddy or relative to information you thru this difficult interval. Additionally, sustain along with your medical appointments to verify all the things is progressing usually.
DEAR ABBY: I used to be born deaf in my proper ear. Irrespective of what number of instances I remind the individuals I’m closest to, they nonetheless appear to get irritated with me as a result of I ask them to repeat what they are saying. It’s particularly laborious for me when their backs are turned to me.
Any options on learn how to curb my anger? Sure, it does upset me due to my listening to problem.
— HEARING AS BEST AS I CAN
DEAR HEARING: Curb your anger by persevering with to remind individuals they should speak into your “good” ear and, if you end up seated, be certain the individuals you have an interest in conversing with are sitting to your left. When you do, it could be much less traumatic for all of you.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
