DEAR ABBY: A number of members of my husband’s household allow us to down badly by not attending our daughter’s wedding ceremony.
That they had numerous work and different household obligations close to the date of our occasion. “Save the date” playing cards had been despatched out six months prior, however we had been apparently decrease on their precedence record.
I expressed to my husband my want to not ship vacation playing cards this yr as a result of I not be ok with these members of the family.
Then, whereas I used to be touring for work, he purchased playing cards, printed a letter with photos, signed it from each of us and despatched it to most of his household and a few of our mutual associates. The primary I heard about it was from a pal thanking me for the cardboard and photos a month later.
I mentioned it with my husband and acquired an apology, however I’m nonetheless shocked and saddened.
What do you assume?
— STILL MIFFED
DEAR STILL MIFFED: Though you didn’t wish to ship vacation playing cards to the family members who skipped your daughter’s wedding ceremony, apparently your husband didn’t really feel the identical means. He was entitled to do what he did.
Repeat after me: A marriage invitation just isn’t a command efficiency. Now let it go.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I acquired a beneficiant present card from my brother and sister-in-law to a restaurant we love. Subsequent week, the 4 of us are going to dinner collectively there.
My query is in regards to the etiquette of utilizing such a present card. Ought to we use it that evening or plan to not use it? If we use it and there’s extra, ought to we pay towards my brother’s invoice?
I do know my brother received’t be bothered or offended both means, however I’m curious in regards to the “correct” approach to deal with this, and I’d respect your recommendation.
— WONDERING IN THE SOUTH
DEAR WONDERING: If my mail is any indication, some of us develop into offended if somebody they’re splitting the invoice with makes use of a present card fairly than a bank card or money. That’s why it by no means hurts to ask that query of the one who is becoming a member of you earlier than going to the restaurant.
DEAR ABBY: I’m estranged from my nephew and really feel unhealthy that our relationship has deteriorated. We reside in several states. He has a psychological sickness and refuses remedy.
As knowledgeable who’s revered at work and at residence, I’m distressed that my nephew is aggressive and demeaning to me in public and in non-public.
How can I get onto a path of reconciliation, and the way does one know when self-protection is the one affordable motion?
— SAD UNCLE IN FLORIDA
DEAR UNCLE: You might be lucky to be geographically distant out of your mentally sick nephew. It isn’t as much as you to make amends with him.
Till he receives psychiatric remedy for his sickness, his conduct received’t reasonable and there shall be no reconciliation. In a case like this, self-protection is essentially the most affordable motion.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
