DEAR ABBY: I’m a homosexual man residing in a predominantly straight neighborhood.
A few yr in the past, a married couple moved in. Someday, the husband requested me to come back over and assist him put a desk collectively, which I did. He thanked me by opening a bottle of wine. Then he requested me what turns me on.
I believed the query was uncommon, however I didn’t maintain again — I confirmed him.
We’ve had extra encounters since then, and now I’m feeling used and enthusiastic about telling his spouse.
I feel she deserves to know her husband is perhaps homosexual and sleeping with different males. He used some “gay lingo” that makes me suppose I will not be the one one.
I heard there have been another neighbors speaking badly about gays, and he didn’t defend or take up for us. That upsets me, too.
What do I do? They stay a number of doorways down, and it’s uncomfortable once I see him and his spouse. She’s all the time waving and is a candy girl.
— RETHINKING IN FLORIDA
DEAR RETHINKING: Your mistake was changing into concerned with a married man. You could really feel “used,” however bear in mind, you went into that affair enthusiastically.
I don’t suppose try to be the individual to inform his spouse her husband is perhaps homosexual. (He may very well be bisexual.) The one that delivers that tidbit needs to be her husband, if she doesn’t already know.
As for you, it’s time to step out of the image, don’t you suppose?
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 47-year-old girl who passes for early 30s.
I perceive that almost all ladies would pay cash to look 15 years youthful than their age, however individuals usually make and voice assumptions about me which can be annoying.
I’ve by no means felt that folks take me severely regardless of my two grasp’s levels and the enterprise I began with three areas.
Additionally, for years, I’ve suffered a continuing and insensitive barrage of questions and assumptions about my reproductive standing. I’ve gotten fairly adept at countering “When are you going to have kids?” with “God didn’t grant me that superpower, so my husband and I are dog parents who enjoy going on adventures.”
I’m now going by menopause. Regardless of being on drugs to regulate the signs, I usually endure a scorching flash at work whereas assembly with clients. I get humorous appears to be like once I seize my paper fan and begin fanning away at my instantly pink and sweaty face.
I’ll often smile and ask for a minute to get well from the recent flash. I’m inevitably advised that I’m “too young” to be experiencing scorching flashes. If solely that had been true.
My intuition is to snarkily counter, “Well, my doctor would disagree,” however that doesn’t sound pleasant.
What would you advocate as an applicable response?
— YOUNG-ISH IN MISSOURI
DEAR YOUNG-ISH: If you find yourself advised you’re “too young to be going through menopause,” fairly than snarl, strive smiling and saying, “Tell that to my doctor!” It can get the message throughout with out being confrontational.
P.S. Folks will not be conscious that menopause has been recognized to strike ladies who’re youthful than you.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
