DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a social media influencer.
I’m nonetheless pretty new to all this. I’ve been on social media for some time, however up to now yr or two, issues have modified drastically, and my following grew.
There are a lot of upsides to having this bigger neighborhood, however there are a couple of downsides I wasn’t actually ready for.
How do you cope with harsh or unfavorable suggestions? How do I create boundaries on a public platform?
— Robust Crowd
DEAR TOUGH CROWD: Establishing values as you construct your viewers is vital.
You possibly can let your neighborhood know that whilst you do welcome constructive criticism, you anticipate individuals to be respectful. Inform them that in the event that they go too far with vitriolic statements, you’ll block them.
Clarify your values clearly so that everybody is aware of what crossing the road appears to be like like. It’s a must to be clear about this; in any other case, you can get backlash out of your viewers.
There’s a positive line right here, since you need to set up an area the place individuals really feel like they will specific their opinions. On the identical time, you will need to set up tone and pointers on what you deem acceptable communication.
Determine it out and inform them. Then, when individuals cross the road, block them.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor generally seeks out my husband earlier than she thinks to name me.
She is a bit older than me and my husband, and we’ve been next-door neighbors and pals for the previous 20 years or so. She and I hang around generally, too. Now I’m questioning why she is so keen on my husband.
The opposite night time, for example, she appeared to be feeling unwell — and he or she requested my husband to cease by for assist.
Her husband died just lately, and he or she is getting older, so we frequently verify on her, however I don’t know. I’m wondering: Is that this some unusual jealousy, or do I’ve legitimate considerations?
— Clingy Neighbor
DEAR CLINGY NEIGHBOR: Belief your instincts. Whether or not or not it’s harmless, it appears to be like like your neighbor is in search of consolation out of your man now that she not has one.
You need to use humor to dissipate this. Subsequent time you’re in her firm, jokingly inform her you’re watching her: “Keep your hands off my man!” or some such. Make it clear to her that you simply care about her and respect her friendship, and you have to be her go-to buddy.
Alert your husband as properly. Level out that your neighbor appears to be further clingy to him proper now. When you belief him, you need him to concentrate on what you’ve got noticed. You don’t have an issue with them being pals, however you’ve got seen that she appears to be counting on him greater than feels wholesome.
Maybe you may go to her solely as a pair for some time. Reset the boundaries in your relationship. Invite her to come back over to your property as properly. Help her on this time of her life, however make it clear that the 2 of you’re a unit.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You possibly can ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
