Amazon was The Nice Unifier this week.
The corporate introduced your complete world collectively in hatred.
Their apocalyptic announcement that they’re taking up inventive management of the James Bond franchise from the Broccoli household, who’ve been in cost since 1962’s “Dr. No,” despatched followers right into a rage, after which a deep despair.
I didn’t spot a single story or social media put up that was pleased with the information. Effectively, aside from a worrying one from Amazon chairman Jeff Bezos, who wrote on X (previously Twitter), “Who’d you pick as the next Bond?”
MrBeast, it’s, then.
All people is livid as a result of the result of the $1 billion regime change is so excruciatingly apparent. 007 will ski off a cliff to his doom, solely there gained’t be a Union Jack parachute to avoid wasting him this time. Bond’s kaput.
Over the previous 20 years, we’ve watched storied Hollywood model after storied Hollywood model be ruined by opportunistic plunderers who purchase an enviable property, cut back it to “content” and foolishly suppose the nicely won’t ever run dry.
The outcomes are all the time the identical.
A legacy in tatters.
Again in 2012, Disney acquired Lucasfilm for $4.5 billion, and with it, all of “Star Wars” and “Indiana Jones.”
There have been causes for optimism then. Seven years earlier, George Lucas completed his “Star Wars” prequel trilogy, which had been mocked for, amongst different issues, Jar Jar Binks hamming it up and Hayden Christensen proclaiming “I don’t like sand.”
The saga may use a refresh, we thought. Assist me, Mickey, you’re my solely hope.
In 2015, audiences heaved a sigh of aid when “Star Wars: Episode VII — The Force Awakens” hit theaters.
Crowds have been happy that it casually ripped off “A New Hope” (Luke turned Daisy Ridley’s Rey) and introduced Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher again into the galactic fold. A easy, cinematic hug.
However deep down, I had a nasty feeling about this. The following two, “The Last Jedi” and “Rise of Skywalker,” comprised a story mess that, whereas a field workplace success, failed in followers’ eyes.
Hungry-hungry Disney then began pumping out spin-off films, like “Solo: A Star Wars Story,” the worst of the lot, and 7 live-action TV exhibits. Two have been good. A number of have been canceled or scrapped earlier than manufacturing even began.
All this insanity occurred inside simply 10 years. “Star Wars” is now not an occasion, however one other one in all life’s routine disappointments.
A weirder mental property seize was when NBCUniversal paid $400 million in 2021 for the rights to “The Exorcist.”
As of late, demonic possession movies impressed by William Friedkin’s 1973 horror masterpiece have turn into so commonplace that they’re virtually a style. However you possibly can’t beat the title.
The studio plans to ship a trilogy of films no one requested for.
Shock! The primary one, final 12 months’s “The Exorcist: Believer,” was an abomination. Ellen Burstyn confirmed up for 10 unhappy minutes. In my evaluation, I wrote: “The power of Christ compels me to give ‘The Exorcist: Believer’ one star.”
Most telling of all is what Amazon has already accomplished to “The Lord of the Rings.”
In 2018, the corporate paid $250 million to snag the TV rights from the Tolkien Property. That didn’t imply they might make exhibits off “The Hobbit” or the books that impressed Peter Jackson’s Oscar-winning movie trilogy, however moderately “The Appendices” — bone dry histories of Center Earth.
Even so, the Sauron-like firm dedicated a reported $1 billion to a five-season collection (the most costly TV present ever made) in hopes of giving Prime Video its personal “Game of Thrones.”
The distinction between HBO’s fantasy epic and “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power”? Individuals really talked about “Game of Thrones.” Amazon’s present barely registers, wins no main awards and is a cheap-looking snooze with a declining viewership.
Now behind the wheel of the Aston Martin, the corporate that ships me charging cords and moisturizer will certainly create forgettable Bond tv collection and spin-off movies.
As a rule, mental property rights are a license to kill.
