DEAR MISS MANNERS: My teenage son has begun seeing a brand new neurologist, who is extremely really helpful and appears to be very expert.
We’ve got had two appointments with this physician, and each instances, he used not less than a half-dozen swear phrases within the 20-minute appointment.
He’s younger, very pleasant, very casual, and doubtless thinks it’s no large deal as a result of my son is an adolescent. He works for the pediatric hospital, and I’m hoping he doesn’t use the identical language when giving medical care to younger kids!
But it surely’s very uncomfortable for me, and my son agrees that it appears unusual. It appears so inappropriate for an expert particular person!
In fact I’ve heard all these phrases earlier than, however I don’t take pleasure in listening to informal swearing.
I missed my likelihood to say one thing within the appointment. We’ll see him once more in six weeks. Is there a strategy to convey this up respectfully?
GENTLE READER: On the subsequent appointment, ask to talk with the physician first whereas your son stays within the ready room. Then inform him that each you and your son admire the work he’s doing, however that you simply (and the boy’s different father or mother, if relevant) ask that he not use swear phrases throughout appointments. Inform him that you’re attempting to set a unique instance on your son.
The physician will conclude that you don’t have any humorousness or idea of the fashionable world. That is effective, as long as he understands that you simply imply what you say — and that you’re the shopper.
You and your son can have fun about it within the automobile afterwards. He could have been within the ready room throughout your dialogue with the physician not as a result of he can not know what is going on, however as a result of it would assist persuade the physician that you’re severe.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Whereas having dinner at a five-star restaurant, he took out 15 assorted nutritional vitamins and dietary supplements, putting them on his bread plate. Then he used his dinner plate for the buttered bread.
Taking dietary supplements is okay, I simply really feel there’s a greater method than lining them up on a plate at a restaurant.
When the server provided dessert, he acknowledged, “I’m too full, but I’ll have a bite of yours.” I made mild of it, saying, “No, I’m not sharing. It’s all for me,” and everybody laughed. He was severe, and would’ve sampled it, I’m sure. Methods to deal with?
GENTLE READER: Pronouns are a lot extra useful when they’re connected to clear antecedents.
That the “he” in query was close to sufficient to succeed in your dessert suggests something from a husband to a boyfriend to a blind date to a dinner accomplice. Your certainty that he was severe about sampling your dessert implies you do have some uncertainty — and subsequently signifies a extra informal connection.
This being so, Miss Manners agrees with dealing with him as you probably did, which is that his boorish conduct with the nutritional vitamins is his personal concern, however he should hold his arms off of you and yours.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
